Hello all! I have missed being around the past couple of days--in fact, I meant to post Thursday night about where I would be all day Friday, but I ran out of time. Several friends and I were in a courtroom for a hearing in case we were needed to testify for our friend M. Obviously, I can't go into the details, but basically her estranged husband (the divorce is not final) decided to keep her son away from her for the past few weeks, which is WRONG WRONG WRONG but anyway.... Her family, friends, coworkers, and day care providers filled up one side of the courtroom to show their support because she is truly a wonderful mother and she should never have had to go through this. The judge appointed a child advocate to help determine the best interests of the child, and in the end both sides were able to come to a temporary agreement of joint custody. It meant a lot to M to have us there, so I am glad I went.
Then last night my brother Bo and his lovely girlfriend Heather came over to watch our kiddos so we could go out. We went out to dinner and went shopping so Justin could spend his Christmas money. (It's my turn next.) It was so nice to look around and let him try things on without keeping the kids from pulling stuff off of shelves or hiding under the racks. So if they are reading this, thanks again, Heather and Bo!
Some funny things happened last night. Over dinner, Justin and I were discussing ways to trim down our eating-out budget. Ironic, no? I mentioned a birthday dinner for one of my friends next week, which is being held at a casual-chic restaurant here in town. When I said there the dinner was being held, Justin said, "That's a little expensive!" And he seemed upset about it, especially when I said, "Well, I have to go--she's one of my best friends!" I thought that was unusual since he normally doesn't get his feathers ruffled over things like that.
Finally he said something that made us realize that I had mispronounced the name of the place, making it sound like the dinner was at one of the fanciest steakhouses in our city, where dinner for one would be about $70 (as opposed to $15 or so at the actual restaurant). Here I was talking about cutting down on Sunday morning doughnuts, and he thought I wanted to spend that much at dinner--and that our friend would expect me to! Thank goodness we figured it out so no bad feelings remained!
The other funny thing that happened while we were out: Mr. Blue had his toy laptop out, tapping away at the keyboard, and he announced to everyone, "I just checking my email!" I claim full responsibility for that since whenever he wants to play on the computer and I'm on it, I always say, "Just let me check my email!" (Or your blogs, but he doesn't have to know that!)
When I was planning this week's dinner menus, I decided to make Chicken a la King despite having a horrific memory of that dish at a church camp where they also served powdered scrambled eggs and other atrocities. I felt I just couldn't mess it up that bad. The recipe suggested serving the chicken and sauce over puff pastry shells that you can buy in the freezer section. You bake the frozen pastries and they puff up light and warm. The dish looked much more impressive than the effort I put into it.
I was already feeling like a 1950's housewife when my husband came through the door carrying a single red rose and a card for me. He knows I'd kill him for buying a dozen roses, and anyway, one was plenty!
Then Miss Pink asked if we could have a candlelight dinner. So we ate our fancy-looking chicken in pastry shells in the candlelight with classical music playing in the background.
It was a lovely dinner, except for the fact that Mr. Blue wouldn't eat any of the pastry, dropped chicken on the floor, left to go the bathroom twice and came back without any underwear on.
They just don't provide entertainment like that at fancy restaurants.
Monday, January 12, 2009
I have no idea what to write about. Yet I don't want to lose my readers, so I just wanted to pop in and say hi and share some random thoughts.
We had a nice weekend. I took Miss Pink to a classmate's birthday party at a pizza place. Over the noise several of the other moms and I got to know each other better. I'm glad I'm making friends with the other mothers, especially since we'll be connected for another year after this one (the class stays together for K and 1st grade).
I really hate it when I give up my nice Sunday evening to grocery shop and the store is out of a lot of things, including bread. Seriously, there was almost no bread--and none I wanted to buy. Meaning I have to make another trip today.
What do you do when you're stressed over something that you have no control over? I mean--how do you keep from obsessing about it so you can get on with the rest of your life until the situation resolves itself? I'm trying not to think about it, but it's difficult not to let it bleed over into my thoughts. I know it's just a bump in the road and we'll be fine, but I hate waiting.
Check out this great giveaway Sydney is having on her blog to celebrate her blogiversary!
Finally, better late than never: Angeline gave me a Wonder Woman award and I kept forgetting to go get it. (Some superhero I am!) If only I looked like Wonder Woman in that outfit! Thanks, Angeline!
I'm going to answer two questions from the book If today, because the first one is just too obvious. My answer is, I mean. I'd like to hear what yours is.
If you could suddenly possess an extraordinary talent in one of the arts, what would you like it to be?
Writing. Hands down.
Next!
If you could be instantly fluent in one other language that you currently do not read or speak, which would it be?
I'm thinking Spanish. I live in Texas and it would be so useful to be fluent in Spanish. While I would like to be able to pronounce French, especially when ordering in restaurants (like I go to so many fancy restaurants), I don't care much about speaking it since the opportunities would be rare and the French would make fun of my accent anyway.
Yesterday was the kids' first day back to school. I guess the powers that be decided to make it a short week to soften the blow. Although getting up at 6:30 am on Tuesday is just as painful as it would have been on Monday. Anyway, Miss Pink was excited to go back--in fact, she didn't want to be away from her beloved teachers and her friends that long, and would get teary-eyed whenever anyone brought up school. So she was happy to go back.
Mr. Blue was not as sure about going to his school, but as always, he was fine once he got there. I enjoyed being able to run errands alone. But the truth is, I am enjoying my kids' company when we are together. Most of the time. Yes, they do scream at each other sometimes, but they are little enough to adore me and old enough to entertain me with their conversations. As soon as Mr. Blue is potty trained, I'd like to freeze them at these ages and keep them this way forever.
Speaking of the potty (geez, I am such a mommyblogging cliche) Mr. Blue is doing VERY well, with only a few accidents and a couple of successes for #2. That's the big hurdle, and now he is on his way. He is very proud of himself for being such a big boy.
With no segue coming to mind, the other news is that my MIL and her sister are coming to visit tomorrow. My MIL is investing in Justin's business, and they have to meet with the banker. J's aunt always comes along to help my MIL drive. I don't want to clean the house with such short notice and without any help from Justin (we'll be at church tonight, so he has no time to help me), and in reality the ladies wouldn't mind, but I have to do it. That is just a rule in my book: you clean for company. And if you don't like cleaning, invite people over regularly. It works unless you don't really like people and are fine being a hermit. In that case, have a spouse that invites his family to stay. That works too! /end sarcasm
Also, we have to go ahead and buy a futon for the playroom, which we were planning to do anyway, so there will be enough sleeping arrangements (you can't ask 70-year-old women to sleep on the floor). So now there will be somewhere to sit/sleep on out there, and soon we'll be getting a rug, and the U-verse TV and Internet will be hooked up. I know I need to post pictures. I should take them as soon as I get everything cleaned up. Two birds with one stone, right?
I'm off to start cleaning. But wouldn't a nap first be a good idea?
I really meant it when I said that writing the week in review posts were the most positive thing that I experienced in 2008, because they caused me to take notice of the small things that were going on around me that I might otherwise have taken for granted. I've printed all the posts and am pairing them with pictures in my most personal scrapbook yet.
But I don't think I'll keep doing the Week in Review in the same format. It's time to try something different. I know that if I keep writing the same kind of posts, I'll feel compelled to make another album of them--and can you imagine how many albums, added to the regular scrapbooks, I would end up with? I'm thinking I might do a similar album every five years; that would make Miss Pink 10 and Mr. Blue 7 the next time I do one, which would be a different era of our lives to capture.
But of course I will keep posting moments and pictures, as well as longer posts. This blog is my online journal, written for myself and my children, which I just happen to let total strangers (who often become friends) have access to!
So here are some highlights for the last week of 2008 (and the beginning of 2009).
1. We took the Christmas decorations down on New Year's Day! Yay us! (Well, actually, the kids and I took the ornaments off the tree that day. Justin couldn't get around to putting the tree and the boxes back in the attic until this morning, but I still count that a triumph.) I also bought some plastic boxes to replace the battered cardboard ones that wouldn't close when stuffed with all the ornaments. See, I'm already more organized in 2009! *sarcastic snort*
2. Justin and I did stay up until midnight, but only because we got to talking in bed until 11:45, so it was impossible not to wait till 12. Then we smooched, wished each other Happy New Year, and went to sleep. I was pleasantly surprised at how many bloggers were proud to admit that they stayed home and many fell asleep long before the hour. Maybe this says something about bloggers and our lack of a social life, but oh well--at least I have found My People.
On a related note, we have GOT to start going to bed by 11, or next week it is going to be excruciating to wake up at 6:30.
3. Mr. Blue is well on his way to being potty trained. He has stayed dry for a couple of days now; he doesn't ask to go, but goes to the potty when reminded, does everything himself including getting on the "big potty," and gets his own Skittle as a reward. He does not like to wear a pullup when we go anywhere, so we try to let him wear his underwear as much as possible.
He has not learned how to poop in the potty, so that's not fun, but we'll get there. The thought that this is the last time I'll have to potty train a child is an exhilarating one. (Of course, then we'll probably get a puppy.)
I got these questions on simplemom.net yesterday, and have had such a wonderful time answering them that I thought I'd share them with you in the last introspective post about 2008 that I'm going to write!
1. What was the single best thing that happened this past year? Writing the "Week in Review posts"—I feel they helped me appreciate my daily life more.
2. What was the single most challenging thing that happened? Probably the playroom addition—even though it is a good thing, it required some adjustments to our routine, especially around Christmas.
3. What was an unexpected joy this past year?Getting to go on the scrapbooking retreat—I made some new friends and just really got to act like a teenager at a sleepover again, which I think I had never expected I’d do again.
4. What was an unexpected obstacle? The recession did affect Justin’s business for the last quarter of the year, but thanks to Dave Ramsey’s advice, we were prepared for the slow paychecks and now it looks like we will be able to replace that money and continue saving because the first of the year is going to be busy.
Oh, I learned from browsing in my archives that I apparently had a recurrence of my anxiety disorder in May. I barely remember it since adjusting my medication fixed everything so well. This is why people sometimes have trouble staying on antidepressants; it just makes you feel normal, and they forget it’s the meds making them feel normal, so they think they don’t need the meds. Not me, man. I need the meds…at least for now.
5. Pick three words to describe 2008. Laughter, challenge, messy.
6. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe your 2008 (don’t ask them; guess based on how you think your spouse sees you). Blessed, sleepy, challenge (yes, I do think we’d use the same word.)
7. Pick three words your spouse would use to describe their 2008 (again, without asking). Work, family, church
8. What were the best books you read this year? Fiction: Gilead and Home by Marilynne Robinson; The Used World by Haven Kimmel; The Writing Class by Jincy Willett; The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society by Mary Ann Shaffer; In the Woods by Tana French; Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.
Nonfiction: The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie Omartian; Mystery and Manners by Flannery O’Connor; The Challenge of Jesus: Discovering Who Jesus Was and Is by N.T. Wright; Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim Ginott; Housekeeping vs. the Dirt by Nick Hornby.
Whew! And there were a lot that I liked but just weren't quite as great as these.
9. With whom were your most valuable relationships? Justin, Miss Pink and Mr. Blue, my parents, my “blog friends” including those I know in real life. I love all of y'all!
10. What wasyour biggest personal change from January to December of this past year? Adding time to pray to my (mostly) daily routine has made me more tender in my spirit—more open to noticing God at work around me in the small things that make my heart weep with joy, and more able to trust God with the questions that arise in the course of life.
11. In what way(s) did you grow emotionally? I think I became more compassionate to the needs of others. Through several books, I also learned how to deal with my children’s emotions in a way that will help them learn to control their emotions as they mature. This method also helps me control my emotions instead of getting so annoyed with the kids’ emotional outbursts. I hope I can remember to use it more and more!
12. In what way(s) did you grow spiritually? I feel closer to God and I feel I want to spend time with Him instead of viewing devotional time as a chore that a “good Christian” should check off her to-do list.
13. In what way(s) did you grow physically? Fortunately, I didn’t grow in physical size! I did commit to going to the gym on a regular basis. I probably do have more muscular strength than I used to. Working out does give me more energy, too.
14. In what way(s) did you grow in your relationships with others? Less (mostly internal) conflict. I used to get all worked up about what people said to me and what I said to them and wondering if they still liked me and all of that. It was exhausting. Now I take people at face value. I have a healthier attitude toward my friendships; if a friendship gets less intimate because of the other person’s choices, I can accept that if it can’t be changed. I know different friendships can meet different needs in my life.
I also have less conflict with my husband. Both of us have learned to let things go; if we start disagreeing, especially over something we’ve disagreed about before, we can usually stop ourselves and change the subject or turn it into a joke. This is huge, of course; I think that the ability to avoid pointless conflict can save marriages!
15. What was the most enjoyable area of managing your home? It hasn’t changed: I still love cooking for people. There’s something so fulfilling about giving the gift of good homemade food—it’s love, pure and simple.
16. What was your most challenging area of home management? Keeping the floors clean. I procrastinate sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming.
17. What was your single biggest time waster in your life this past year? I’m sure it was the Internet. However, I don’t consider blogging a waste of time, really, since I’m connecting with other people’s stories. If I discount blogging, it was TV.
18. What was the best way you used your time this past year? Prayer and spending time with family.
19. What was biggest thing you learned this past year? I can trust God with everything in my life.
20. Create a phrase or statement that describes 2008 for you. Love matters most.
Can you think of three words that describe 2008 for you?
