My First NaBloPoMo (Say That Five Times Fast)

So tonight I visited my feed reader for the first time in a week and in a post by the awesome Bibliomama, I realized it is NaBloPoMo. That sounds like gibberish, but it actually stands for National Blog Posting Month. It began as a reaction to NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and basically it just means you post on your blog every day of the month. Even a picture counts. 

Well. I've been meaning to write more consistently for--oh, about ten years now. Surely I can do this for a month. 

But now it is 10:31 p.m. and my husband is making noises about going to bed and I really have nothing interesting to write about. 

I know--I will show you pictures of my kids in their Halloween costumes. 

 If you spend any time with an elementary-school aged child, you know that this is a Minecraft character. Like me, that might be all you know. FYI, this is a Minecraft skeleton. No, I don't know why a skeleton in Minecraft doesn't look anything like an actual skeleton, nor why a bow is its weapon of choice. 

To confess my total lameness, I must admit I did not make this. My son kept saying he wanted to borrow this costume, which his friend wore last year. It wouldn't be that difficult to make, but it would involve buying clothes...and paint...and finding a box... GAAAAHHH IT'S TOO HAAAAARD. So the week before Halloween I asked the other mom and she very graciously allowed L to borrow it. This year she made her son a Minecraft zombie costume, which is totally different except that it also has a box head and was painted in small colored squares. I solemnly swear that I will not ask to borrow the Minecraft zombie next year.

Here is C as the FaceTime app. You can't read it very well in this picture, but it says "Time" across her face. (Why yes, she loves puns.) She and her dad decorated the sweatshirt, which I think looks practically professionally done even though they just drew the app onto iron-on material. I say "just" like that meant it was quick and easy. At one point, I think I heard my husband say something about making sure the proportions of the drawing exactly matched the app. Hey, I think I know who can make L's costume next year!

And now it is 10:50 p.m. and I am tired but pleased that I have completed my first post for NaBloPoMo.

Tales of a Former Tomboy

I've never been particularly "girly" in my style. Even as a toddler, when even babies were dressed up for church in frilly dresses with petticoats underneath that made the skirts stick out horizontally, my mom didn't dress me as "frou-frou" as other little girls (that's her phrase). She's said that my legs were so thin, they looked pitiful underneath those voluminous skirts. Someday maybe I'll borrow her photo albums and get to scanning. I have a lot of Throwback Thursdays to catch up on.

This should give you the idea. Doesn't it make you itchy?

For much of my childhood, I was a tomboy who practically lived outside. This is very difficult for me to believe now, but it's true. I rode my bike every day after school, made endless mud pies, and climbed every tree at my grandparents' house (our trees didn't have branches close enough to the ground for me to climb, much to my disappointment.) I did all these things while wearing skirts and culottes because a) that was our school uniform and b) our church at that time believed that women should wear only skirts and dresses. So no truly tomboyish clothes for me.

This is EXACTLY what they looked like, even the navy blue color. I find them hideous.

I had no problems pursuing my interests, though. My parents never told me not to get dirty or not to climb things because I was wearing a skirt (hence the culottes.) I always did like pretty clothes for dressing up, though. I am a romantic through and through, and what could be prettier than the Disney princesses' ball gowns? You can imagine how much I loved Ariel and Belle compared to the earlier princesses: a spunky redhead and a bookworm who ALSO wear ball gowns? My kind of girls! But that's another post for another day.

Okay, this post has gotten way too long. I'll finish the story tomorrow.

I'd like to hear from y'all. Are you "girly" or not? Has your style changed since you grew up, or do you have basically the same preferences you had as a girl?

Book Review: Dear Mr. Knightley

Well, it finally happened. I read a Christian novel that I liked. And that didn't make me cringe (not even once) due to bad writing or heavy-handed inclusion of Christianity. 

To tell you the truth, I had completely forgotten that Dear Mr. Knightley by Katherine Reay is Christian fiction. I bought it as an e-book from BookBub, a service that alerts readers to discounted e-books. Initially it caught my attention because the title refers to one of Jane Austen's heroes, and I like Austen's Mr. Knightley very much. Still, I didn't expect much from the book since I've encountered quite a bit of Austen-inspired fiction, and most of it is as dismal as the Christian fiction I dislike.

Dear Mr. Knightley is an epistolary novel, meaning it is written as a series of letters. In this case, almost all of the letters are written by the main character, Samantha Moore, a survivor of the foster care system who got through the hard times by escaping into classic novels, especially those of Jane Austen. After college, Sam receives the opportunity to attend journalism school through a grant from an anonymous donor who asks only that she write regular letters to him to keep him apprised of her progress. The mysterious benefactor uses the synonym of "George Knightley."

The setup may be contrived, but Reay captures Sam's personality perfectly. The lonely young woman pours her heart out onto the page as she would a journal, only with more dialogue and better pacing. In many ways, the book reminded me of two other favorite epistolary novels: The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society and Daddy Long Legs. While a reader of classic literature will surely love the many allusions to works by Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte (among others), those who haven't read those books can still enjoy this one. 

The spiritual part of the book is deeply felt and ingrained in the theme of redemption, grace, and forgiveness--yet Reay never slathers it on thick or makes her characters too good to be true. I take it back--I now read Christian fiction, at least if it's written by Katherine Reay.

Stitch Fix #2 (But My First Review!)

Hi everybody! I thought I'd take a break from my usual reflective posts and show you some fashion. A few months ago I signed up for a styling service called Stitch Fix. What is that? Well, I'm glad you asked.

When you sign up with Stitch Fix, you fill out an extensive online survey about your size and body shape (be honest; it's only going to help you!) and your style preferences. I especially liked rating the sample styles so they would know my preferences. (For the record, I'm mostly classic/preppy with a little romantic and boho style thrown in--or at least I wanted to try some of those items.) You also specify how often you need casual, business casual, date night, and special occasion clothes. Finally, you can exclude certain colors and items.

Once you get your items, you have three business days to try them on and decide. There is a $20 styling fee--but if you decide to keep anything, the fee goes toward that, which makes keeping at least one item totally worth it. Also great: if you keep all 5 items, you get a 25% discount. I wasn't going to keep the earrings (see below) but it was $50 cheaper to keep them, so I did!

As far as the price, I know some people won't pay this much for clothes. (You can specify a range of price or "As cheap as possible.") I am pretty cheap but these clothes are a) boutique quality so I doubt they will fall apart after a few wears like some things from Target;

b) unique yet designed to fit into my existing wardrobe--the stylists look back at other Fixes to find items that will mix and match with their selections. I almost didn't keep the blazer but once I saw how many ways I can wear it, I decided the cost-per-wear ratio would make it worth keeping.

Finally, I would highly recommend making a Pinterest board and sharing the link with your stylist. I think that is partly why my two Fixes have been so successful. I mean, I know my stylist is good, but giving her some visuals of the clothes I am drawn to really helps, I'm sure.

Kaylie French Terry Blazer, $128.

I love this blazer! I have long wanted a navy blazer and the soft, soft fabric makes this one perfect for my lifestyle--not too dressed up. My tween daughter may steal it; she tried it on and it almost fits her. Never would have thought a blazer would be her style, but that's how cool this one is.

(Note: the lighting makes it look darker than it is. It's actually a lighter navy.)

Poppa Open Cardigan, $58.00

Also a huge win! I needed a cardigan like this and this one is so lightweight, I can wear it even though it's still hot here. My stylist was right; it looks lovely with the coral top from my last Fix, but lots of others will work as well. I will have to wear a color underneath so it doesn't wash me out, but I can do that. I think it will look great with skinnies and brown boots or booties in the fall and winter.

Haven Dress, $64.00

OMG, this dress is PERFECT. Comfy, flattering, versatile, and a perfect fit. I wore it to church on Sunday and it was so comfortable. No ironing needed, ever. Next time I will wear my red heels with it. I can see layering it with a blazer or cardigan or my jean jacket for sure. I would take more of this dress in a different color/pattern!

Arturo Plaid V-Neck Top, $48.00

I like this top too! I thought maybe it would  be too loose on me but the pictures say otherwise, don't you think? Another great top in fall colors but lightweight. I wore it with white jeans here because my dark skinnies were too dark. C thinks yellow or red (both are in the plaid) would work. I can also layer it under a jacket in the winter, preferably an olive green military jacket like I keep seeing everywhere and have requested if Stitch Fix gets one. (I won't wear it with red pants if I wear a military jacket! Talk about Christmas!)

Mayla Stone Crystal Stud Earrings, $38.00

These were very pretty but more than I would normally pay for earrings. However, the discount made it possible for me to keep them. I can probably wear them with more than I think.

Overall thoughts:

Kiersten totally nailed it! She got my style and added some fun things I might not have picked but love. I'd love to have her style me again!

If you would like to try Stitch Fix, please consider signing up with this link:

Alison's Stitch Fix Referral Link

For every person who signs up, I get a credit to be used towards my next Fix... a big thanks to my pastor's wife who signed up after my last Fix!

Finally, I know I didn't do a review of my first Fix, but here is a picture of my husband and me in which I am wearing a coral top and statement necklace from it. As you can see from the previous pictures, I will be able to layer this top on into the fall.

I can hardly wait until my next Fix. My budget says it will have to be in November (I am on the every two months plan) but it's so fun, I would love to do it every month...and blog about it, of course!

She's Got This

Four weeks of school are now behind us. Since 7th grade is the first year students can participate in Athletics, it's also our first year in the wonderful world of middle school sports.

For girls in our district, the choices are volleyball, basketball, cross-country, tennis, and track and field (I think--remember I'm getting almost all of my information second-hand). You have to do two sports; right now it's volleyball season so the concurrent activity is cross-country. 

All of this is completely foreign to me since 
     a) I attended a tiny private school with only one sport for girls--volleyball. I'm 5'2". 'Nuff said.
     b) I don't have an athletic bone in my body. Since I was a high school teacher for several years, I know a little bit about extracurricular activities--mainly, that when you are absent for a game, you should always get your makeup work ASAP. 

I still stand by that, by the way. Academics shouldn't suffer due to participation in a sport.

Anyway, we left it up to C to decide if she wanted to try out for volleyball. She hasn't played much, but I thought she had a decent chance of making one of the teams. I think she was a little nervous about trying out, though, because instead she chose cross-country, which has no tryouts. After her Athletics coach explained what was involved, she told me, "Coach K said it's great for people who like to push themselves. I can't wait!"

It's true, she does like a challenge.

And she got one. In the first week, she ran more than I probably have in all the years of my life combined. Besides the running in cross-country, which happens before school, in Athletics, they do strength and conditioning and more running. At this point I think she's doing at least 2 miles a day.

Mercy.

Last week she started saying that her knee hurt. After the first week of athletics, the coaches sent out an email saying that they were not accepting parent notes to excuse students from working out. (Translation: the kids were sore because even the most active ones probably hadn't ever worked out this much, but the coaches weren't having it.) If a student thought they were injured, they should go to the trainer, or go to the doctor and bring back a note. Period.

After a day or so, C went to the trainer, who told her it was tendinitis, due to repetitive stress, and that a special brace thingy that puts pressure on the spot would help, and that she should take ibuprofen and stretch. We did that.

Remember she's still running 2 miles a day and doing squats, lunges, and I don't know what all.

Web MD said when you have tendinitis you should rest it completely. Meanwhile the coaches are telling her to "take it easy" but I'm not sure that's in my daughter's vocabulary. I could feel the worry circling in my mind, not yet becoming full-fledged anxiety, but I went back and forth on whether I should email the coaches, or the trainer...or go ahead and take her to the doctor even though I knew what the doctor would say and since we don't have traditional insurance, it would be out of pocket...and then she's on the list for the meet on Friday...should she bow out and let someone else go?

Then I felt this rising up in me: Let her talk to the coaches and visit the trainer. She's got this.

Sure, I couldn't help mentioning what she needed to hear from the trainer (namely, was she or was she not fit to continue running?) Then when I found myself telling her what to say to the coach and getting an impatient response, I got the message (finally) and bit my tongue.

That day she got in the car saying, "The trainer did some kind of voodoo magic on my knee!" (It's a machine that sends an electrical pulse through electrodes to relieve pain.) She had talked to the coaches. In Athletics that talk happened after she was trying to do the whole workout and started crying. The coaches said she needed to tell them she was hurting BEFORE it got to that point. Her knee started feeling better. But by the time of the meet on Friday, it was hurting again, and she and her coach decided that she should wait until she's healthy to compete. She was disappointed at first but rallied to cheer her teammates on.

What a lot of lessons she had an opportunity to learn. If I had stepped in and taken over with my anxious-mother emails, she wouldn't have learned any of them. 

Now, I am NOT saying that we shouldn't listen to our mommy-radar when it pings, "This doesn't seem right! I should check it out!" Most of the time when we listen to our deepest intuitions, it turns out we were right. 

However, I AM saying that I actually did listen to my intuition, the one that lies beneath my knee-jerk worried-mom reaction. Admittedly, C makes it easier for me, a certified wimp who hates taking risks, to let her be independent because she tells me to. This is the child who was so excited on the first day of kindergarten that we got there before anyone else except the student teacher (her actual teacher wasn't even in the room yet.) And once C had a puzzle in front of her, she looked at me and said matter-of-factly, "You can go now."

"What? Are you...are you sure you don't want me to stay at least until someone else gets here?"

"No. You can go." And I was dismissed with a wave of her hand. 

I walked away a little stunned, but knowing instinctively that she wasn't unattached to me, and that she did still need me for some things.

Just not this time.

I was right when I decided, She's got this. I just have to let her handle it.

7 Tips for Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Wow, I was surprised and humbled to see that several women commented on Facebook about yesterday's blog post that they felt inspired to start their own gratitude journal. I was thinking about that this morning while I ate breakfast and got the idea to share a few quick tips that have been helping me keep up with my gratitude journal. 

1. Write in something that makes you happy. That way, the first thing you can write down is your journal itself! I wrote about how a cute, but relatively inexpensive, notebook from Target is good for me. For you it might be a Moleskine notebook (rumored to be used by Hemingway himself and beloved by reporters) or a 1-subject spiral with an adorable kitten on it. You don't have to spend much money on it. Just make sure it's a dedicated notebook used only for these entries. The point I'm getting to: if your journal makes you happy, you're more likely to write in it! 

2. That being said, don't put off starting until you find the "perfect" notebook. The book doesn't matter nearly as much as your words do.

3. Keep a writing instrument with it at all times. I use a pencil because I'm a grammar freak who hates to cross out when I make corrections, but a pen is fine. Hide it if you need to, if the "pen fairies" visit your house and steal all your pens, the way they do at mine. I tend to write in my journal right before bedtime or if I get a minute during the day. If I have to spend ten minutes looking for something to write with and probably getting distracted while I'm looking, the moment may be lost. If you have a pen handy, you're more likely to write in your journal!

4. Don't be overly concerned with "correctness." This journal is for YOU. It doesn't matter if you spell every word correctly (just ignore what I said up there about making corrections. I'm a freak and you shouldn't follow my example. Plus it's quick and easy for me to make quick edits.) I don't even use complete sentences most of the time (gasp!) I use a bulleted list like this:

• I had more energy today & I felt so much happier. Thankful.
• Went through the school uniforms . Also decluttered closets, which inspired Justin to get a bunch of his clothes ready to donate.
• Fun conversations playing 94% [an iPhone trivia app] and just talking with L.

 5. I like my entries to be as specific as possible. In the example above, obviously the first entry was pretty general. The second two, though, named specific activities and help me remember exactly what went on that made me happy. The great part about this is that your gratitude journal helps capture little moments of this stage in your life that you might otherwise have missed! The third bullet reminds me that my son loved playing this game with me and how it started lots of fun conversations.

6. Try to write in it regularly. I usually don't do it every day, but I still make it a habit to jot something down every 2 or 3 days at least. If I don't, I'm pretty sure I'll stop doing it. 

7. Occasionally read back over your entries and smile!

Why I'm Keeping a Gratitude Journal

Justin asked me the other day why I hadn’t been writing 750 words a day like I had been doing on a website called 750words.com, which is designed to help you write every day by giving you little checkmarks for every day you write in a row and also notifying you when you reach 750 words. It’s all private and is exactly like writing on your own computer except for the desire to keep those check marks uninterrupted and the fact that it costs $5.00 a month. For a couple of months I was meeting my goal most days. So why did I stop?

I stopped writing when my depression and anxiety overtook me a few months ago, and writing was not on my agenda at all, not even a little bit. I felt I shouldn’t spend even $5.00 a month when I wasn’t writing for the foreseeable future. In fact, at the time I felt I wouldn’t ever be able to write, or enjoy reading, or actually enjoy anything ever again, because that is the kind of lie that depression tells.

Then I saw my doctor and added a new medication. I got better, and I reveled in reading again. Every book seemed better than the last! I enjoyed the heck out of lots of things that had become meaningless while I was in the grip of the Black Dog, including shopping, eating, and social media. At first I only wrote comments on Facebook and Twitter because I still felt fragile and didn’t know what to write about, even in a private journal. A few weeks later, I decided to start and keep a gratitude journal, as the research is conclusive that keeping one does help stave off the grim demon called Depression. I’ve started several such records in the past, only to quit when things got so busy that I didn’t write anything for months. Sometimes life was good-busy and sometimes it was stressful-busy. That, I tell myself with the benefit of 20/20 hindsight, is exactly when you need a gratitude journal.

This is a brain after the person has been keeping a gratitude journal. The highlighted area shows increased dopamine, which is a "reward" neurotransmitter that feels goooood.

So now I keep it on my nightstand beside my bed. A few days may go between recording something, but at least a couple of times a week I take a few minutes to count my blessings--not just general ones, like family, friends, and a roof over my head. Specific things, like this entry from July 13:

• I had more energy today & I felt so much happier. Thankful.
• Went through the school uniforms . Also decluttered closets, which inspired Justin to get a bunch of his clothes ready to donate.
• Fun conversations playing 94% [an iPhone trivia app] and just talking with L.

Probably my favorite entry so far, though, is this one from July 18:

• Great talk with L about angels (good and evil) and Minecraft. Longish car rides are perfect to get kids to open up.

[And if you are wondering what angels have to do with Minecraft--well, I am right there with you. I think there’s really no connection, except that my 9 yo son is currently incapable of talking for more than 45 seconds before he says, “Well, in Minecraft…” And that’s when I nod and say “Uh-huh” and “Wow” while he talks about things I do not understand at all. Unlike angels. This preacher’s daughter can expound on heavenly beings.]

I want to remember those little moments that are going on in my life right now, at this specific stage. I wish I had done this all through my kids’ babyhood so I wouldn’t be wondering, “Which one of them insisted that a stuffed Chihuahua Beanie Baby was a cat, and in the middle of an argument about it, I had an epiphany that it wasn’t worth arguing with a toddler about?” If I’d recorded that epiphany, I’d know.

Oh well, I can always start now. And there’s always Facebook.

As far as keeping up with the fragmented yet continuous record of our lives: it helps that the little notebook I’m writing in is small and pretty, but not so fancy that I feel my words have to live up to its binding. I love beautiful journals, but I’ve faltered about 25% of the way through so many gorgeous leather-bound blank books. This one has a cardstock cover, mint green, with Chapter 1 printed on the front in gold. It came in a pack of 3 from Target; the other two are white and pink, and (you guessed it) say Chapter 2 and Chapter 3. Cost: about $6.00 at Target. I bought them for some other reason but they are perfect for this.

For some reason the lighting in my bedroom didn't make it look green!

Besides this fragmented journaling, which admittedly seeks out the good at the expense of the very real irritations and sorrows of life (mind you, I don’t need reminding to dwell on the negative), I do intend to write at least 750 words a day. My job gives me plenty of time in which to do so, and it’s a much better use of my time than endlessly refreshing Facebook and watching cute animal videos. Even if I don’t have time at work, I no longer have to spend my evenings grading papers, and my husband and offspring often vanish after dinner to spend time with their electronic devices; I might as well do the same with mine.

All that to say, I have hope that out of 750 words a day, a few of them will be worth putting on this here blog. And that is going to be the first sentence in tonight’s gratitude journal entry.