D-O-N-E

Last night my son informed me, "We're not doing schoolwork anymore, Mom." His backpack was full of all the folders and notebooks that have been in his desk all year, lending credence to his statement. (Of course he was happy about that.)

Now, you might think that as a former schoolteacher, I would disagree with the elementary teachers' decision to give up. You would be wrong.

I completely understand why the last week (really, more like two weeks) are designated for field days, play days, movie days and the like. The teachers are every bit as done as the kids. Why fight it? 

Last Friday was field day (which had to be held in the gym due to mud from the continuous rain we've uncharacteristically had), and yesterday was Vertical Team party day (each team of multiple grades had 2 hours to do carnival-type activities including bounce houses and dunking booths). Thursday is the class party for everyone who read 20 books outside of class (and we barely made it as of Monday night--yay!) Friday is the last day of school, so with an awards assembly in the morning, they will just be cleaning up for early dismissal at 11:45. 

Today, however, was the day for the last project of third grade: to learn about and dress as a historic character for a Living Museum. I have to say, when I got the email, I heaved a sigh. I have to help my child create a decent costume in MAY? Even though my schedule is more flexible and I'm not bombarded by stress the way I was a few months ago, May is no time to ask parents for creativity. This post by Jen Hatmaker is hilarious and explains exactly how I feel in May.

However, this not being my first rodeo, I Googled Living Museum and looked at pictures. At least the teacher had them do all their research and write-up at school. All I had to do was assemble a costume requiring as little effort and expense as possible. Anything involving sewing was obviously out since I can only sew on buttons, and even simple things that involved clothes not currently in his closet (like, say, a black suit) were out.

Luckily my son is very easy-going about these things. "Hey, how would you like to dress up as Vincent Van Gogh?" I asked him. "Sure," he said.  

I fully intended to be the one to help him splatter paint all over one of his dad's shirts to make a smock. But his sister was right there, with no homework since finals don't start till Thursday...and she's more artistic than I am any day...

So without further ado, here is my little artiste:

Van Gogh probably didn't wear a beret, but that says "artist," and other people (online) did that. He didn't want to tuck the shirt in--fine. It's got plenty of dried paint on it and on the palette and brush, which we already owned. Note the bandage around his ear. C wanted to have visible blood so I allowed her to use a red Sharpie this morning underneath the top layer of gauze so it wouldn't look too gory. 

I feel pretty good that I didn't just write a character's name on a piece of paper and tape it on his shirt. And best of all... it's the last assignment until September. 

Teacher Update and Prayer Request

Miss Pink's music teacher emailed me back as soon as school was out. He remembered the incident with the "Thriller" video. He'd had some extra time in some classes, so they were watching videos of their favorite Michael Jackson songs (they study influential American musicians, and Johnny Cash was another one they were studying.) When someone asked for "Thriller," he hesitated and warned the kids that there were some scary parts and asked if anyone didn't want to watch the video. As he said, he made the mistake of thinking the younger kids could understand what he was saying and make a good choice for themselves. During the video, he noticed Miss Pink crying and he stopped the video and tried to comfort her. He apologized to me and said he felt terrible that he had caused her to miss sleep. This was enough for me; he took responsibility and promised to be more careful in the future.

As for the movie, I was glad I had asked IF they had watched the movie instead of assuming they had, because they had NOT watched the whole movie. The only parts they watched were clips of the songs--no speaking scenes. This was fine with me because it would help the music come alive for the kids. (And in fact Miss P recognized the real Johnny and June singing "Jackson" on the radio while we were traveling). The teacher explained that all movies have to be G-rated or they have to get parents to sign a permission slip. This made me feel much better, of course.

The teacher also echoed what you all kindly told me: that I was not being That Parent who makes his job harder, but a parent who wants the best for my child He always wants me to come to him with any concerns. It was a good exchange all the way around.

Finally, in a completely unrelated incident, I would like to ask for your thoughts and prayers for the family of our youth pastor, whose 28-year-old brother pulled a gun on a police officer. Apparently the officer got the gun away from him but the brother pulled out another gun and pointed it at the officer, who then shot him. Later, the young man died. Tragically, the guns were actually replicas--but of course the officer didn't know that. I think about my children, whom I love so much, getting mixed up with drugs (this seems to be the case here) and making mistakes that lead to their death, and my heart breaks for their family, especially with this happening right before the holidays. I pray that they will find strength and comfort in knowing that people across the world are thinking and praying about them.

When Good Teachers Make Bad Choices

As a teacher by profession even when I was staying at home, I have always been averse to being That Parent. You know That Parent, the one who drives the teachers crazy by complaining about everything that goes on in the class when That Parent isn't there to protect their delicate flower--I mean child.

I have had 11th grade teachers tell me that parents complained that their teenager was asked to read The Crucible because "it's about witchcraft."

This type of parent annoys me because they are not well-informed. I think it's safe to say that The Crucible is not pro-witchcraft; it's simply anti-witch hunts. I can't be sure without a copy in front of me, but I'm pretty sure that there is nothing definitely supernatural in the play; there are merely accounts from eyewitnesses who claim they saw Goody So-and-so dancing with the devil, and so forth. Miller's point is that people can get caught up in group hysteria when their only hope of exoneration is condemning someone else, as was happening in 1950s Hollywood when Senator McCarthy was accusing everyone of being a secret Communist. There are important lessons we can learn from the play that are applicable to modern-day hunts for what our society considers evil, and actual devil-worship is not really a problem these days.

But the 17-year-old students whose parents freak out because OMG! Witches! are not going to learn to learn from history in order to keep it from repeating itself. Sad.

Believe me, you don't want to get me started on people who rail against Harry Potter. My feeling is, "If you have READ the books and still feel it is inappropriate for your child, fine. If you have just HEARD that it is pure evil, you have no grounds to complain. You're the parent; presumably as an adult you can handle reading/watching the potentially harmful material and DOING YOUR JOB as a parent to decide if you are going to let your child read/watch it."

Whew. You didn't even get me started on that topic; I just went off on it, all on my own.

Even though I try to support teachers and their right to decide what to teach, I felt compelled to write the following email to Miss Pink's music teacher. He is an enthusiastic teacher and Miss P loves him and his class. However, I thought about it and realized I couldn't let these lessons go by without saying something. If I did, I would be remiss in my responsibility to make sure my child is not exposed to age-inappropriate concepts. Seriously, what was he thinking to let kindergartners and first-graders (including kids up through 5th grade; they have several weeks of music class together per year) watch the "Thriller" video and the movie Walk the Line?

Here is my email.

Dear Mr. ______,

I realize I should have contacted you right away, but with the holiday I let it slip my mind. However, I did want to let you know that after Miss Pink watched the "Thriller" video in music class, she had trouble sleeping for several nights because she couldn't stop thinking about the scary images. She is pretty imaginative and I guess it was just too scary for her. As a parent, I'm sure you understand how hard it is to get a freaked-out child to calm down and go to sleep. I realize you only wanted to introduce the kids to the music of Michael Jackson, but in the future, you might not want to show that type of video to classes that include younger kids.

Also, I could not figure out from what Miss Pink told me if the students watched the whole movie of Walk the Line, so if they only watched clips of the music, please ignore the following. I love Johnny Cash and the movie based on his life, but my husband and I feel the themes of drug addiction and infidelity were too adult for our first-grader. We would have liked to have had a note home so we could have opted out for that lesson(s). Trust me, as a teacher I understand it's hard to find interesting films that relate to your subject, and I hesitated to complain because I don't want to be That Parent who makes life hard for teachers who are doing their best, but I felt you would want some constructive feedback for the future. Please believe that I only want to help and that I am not angry because no serious harm was done; I am just asking you to rethink using these materials, or at least check with parents and/or the administration before using them in the future.

If you feel you need to meet with me in person or over the phone, you could call me at ______. Simply letting me know via email that you've heard my concerns would be enough to fix the issue from my point of view, however.

Best,
Alison ____

I tried to be conciliatory because I know teachers may get defensive when they perceive a parent is attacking them. I also went to the teacher directly rather than going above his head to the principal right away. In my opinion, parents should give the teacher a chance to apologize, explain, and offer a solution to the problem before they bring in the big guns. If the teacher responds appropriately, I will let it drop because I honestly don't think any real harm was done. Miss P finally forgot about Michael turning into a werewolf (although it took 3 or 4 nights) and she probably didn't even know drugs were being used in those scenes. Notice that I didn't jump to conclusions based on what my child had said since I really don't know if they watched the whole movie. Parents should remember that what their child says is from a kid's point of view and may not be 100% accurate, so we should give the teacher a chance to explain before we freak out. (There are exceptions to what I'm saying, such as when something really bad happens and you have to demand that something be done right away.)

What do y'all think? Is this a letter that will probably get the results I want--or was I even too wishy-washy? What should I do if the teacher blows off my concerns? And do you have any stories to share of how to approach--or how NOT to approach--a child's teacher?

Something New

We are now going on our third day of being housebound--Miss Pink has had a mild fever and a cough--and I was almost wanting to take her to the doctor just to have something to do. But noooo, the nurse said it sounds like she'll be fine and they don't need to see her. So my mom is apparently wrong when she fears that it's the swine flu and calls to tell me what the paper says about the latest statistics. That's so comforting, as you might imagine.

I believe I promised to tell you about the other big decision I had to make last week.

The wonderful lady who has been babysitting Mr. Blue had to give me two weeks' notice. She felt bad about it but she needs to start picking up her other two grandchildren from school and she doesn't have room in her car for five kids. Of course I was stunned and disappointed since it was working out so well, but I understand because I know why she needs to be there for her grandkids (I'd better not mention why since there is a tiny chance they could find this blog and the family is keeping the situation private).

Anyway, I went to work with my head spinning. I decided my options were 1) put Mr. Blue in a full-time preschool/daycare program; 2) try to find other at-home care; or 3) see if my mom and Justin could split taking care of him two days a week as Justin had offered to do before I found this sitter. My mom is not available to keep him very often, and he couldn't nap at Justin's shop, so #3 was the least desirable. I only had a couple of possibilities for #2, and quite frankly I'm not crazy about how unreliable individuals are turning out to be.

At lunchtime, I decided to call the church-affiliated preschool he went to last year, where Miss Pink went for three years; they have a full-time program as well. Now that I am needed to sub as many days a week as I want to, I can afford to put him there. They have the same preschool curriculum for the FT kids as the two-or-three-mornings-a-week kiddos; they just eat lunch and an extra snack and have extra playtime. At the beginning of the school year they did not have a spot in his class, and now they do. The director was willing to apply the registration fee which I had originally turned in for the PT preschool program (before I decided to sub) to this program, so I only have to pay a small supply fee and the tuition, which is due weekly.

So here are the pros and cons.

Pros

• I completely trust the directors at the school. We never had any problems with them during the whole time my kids attended preschool. The center is very clean, the kids seem happy, the state guidelines are followed, the classes are small with a good child-to-teacher ratio, and the food they cook always smells good (a weird positive, but true). This sounds like a lot of pros, but really it is all part of what I have said before: if I have to put my kids in a FT daycare, this one is a good one.

• It is priced reasonably, only a little more than I was paying per day for at-home care. Which means I will not be working just to pay for day care; I will be helping our finances even though my primary reason for subbing is to make contacts to help me get a full-time teaching job.

• Mr. Blue is really getting interested in letters and numbers, noticing them everywhere. Of course we read and identify letters and numbers, but he will like learning more about them at school. It's a relaxed, not-too-academic program that I think will be great. I wanted him to go to a school-type program next year anyway, so this is just starting early.

• I don't have to take him in if I'm not working, or if I work a half-day. (Of course, I still have to pay for it, which I'll discuss in the Con section.)

Cons

• I have to pay for it even if he's not going to be there. So if we have a week like this one, when a child is sick for multiple days, or Christmas, when I can't work, I still have to pay to keep his spot. This pains me. It won't be nearly as much of an issue when I have a regular full-time job. (Because then I will be the teacher hoping not to use up too many sick days. Aaargh, the trials of being a working parent, they are beginning.)

• The whole idea of having him in a daycare at all. Seriously, I thought about not posting this list at all because of the people who could read this and think what a selfish cow I am to be working when we've managed to survive for seven years with me as a SAHM. But my husband and I really do believe this is the direction we need to go as a family. Still, being able to sleep in and cuddle with the kids is awesome and I plan to enjoy it when it is possible.

So there it is. We are going to try it. Like every change that happens in our lives, we will have to try to find a new way to balance.

Huge Life Change Update

Hi, everybody! Sorry to leave you hanging with no post after that last one that was all "what am I going to do to make enough money so my children will not go HUNGRYYYY?" but as you will soon see, I have been super busy for the past few days and haven't had any time to post until now. I have tweeted about the fast-and-furious changes here at my Twitter page, if you are like me and just can't get enough of your favorite bloggers. And of course I am one of your favorite bloggers, right? *cough cough*grin*

Let's see, what day was it when Justin and I decided that I should start applying for jobs? I think it was Tuesday that I emailed the principal of Miss Pink's school about an aide position that was posted on the district web site. She called me back Wednesday and by that time I was able to tell her that I had decided that if I was going to work full time, that I should go back to teaching ($45,600 vs. 13,000--probably worth the extra stress of having one's own class, no?) She mentioned that they just had a 4th grade position open up the DAY BEFORE. It was her idea to have me come in to interview. She loved it that I am a parent at the school and totally invested in the school's philosophy and success. *

So I went to the interview yesterday at 2 and it went very well. I felt very confident in the way I was able to answer the questions of the principal and the lead 4th grade teacher and they seemed to respond well to me. We even talked about the educational possibilities of Twitter! The fact that I have been at home for 6 years didn't seem to bother them, as I have kept teaching Sunday School and volunteer tutoring at their school, not to mention teaching my own little learning sponges. I was able to show them that I do have experience with elementary students and their schoolwork when I worked at Sylvan Learning Center, where I tutored kids of all ages and helped them get their reading and math skills up to grade level. Many people have said to me that I would make a good elementary teacher, and I hope I get the opportunity to try.

The only issue is that I do have to be certified in the elementary grades (my current certification is English for grades 6-12). To do that, I have to pass a test for Early Childhood through 4th grade which includes language arts (almost half of the points), math, social studies, science, health, art, and music. The principal has to know that I have passed the test before she could present me to the board as their choice to hire. So I registered to take the test at the next earliest date, July 2. That only gives me a few days to study (I ordered a book from Amazon and it should be here Monday) but I took the official sample test online and scored 91%, so I feel good about taking it. I just hope that the principal and lead teacher think I am a good enough candidate to wait a few days for, AND that some darn experienced elementary teacher doesn't come along and take the job!

That leads me to the only other issue, which is the math and science. *I* am feeling confident in my ability to teach those subjects, but this school is top-rated in the state-mandated tests and wants to maintain their ranking. They do not want to risk letting any students fall through the cracks, either; it's not just teaching to the test. If it were, we'd just spend all year doing TAKS worksheets and having a boring class. No, these are creative teachers who go above and beyond to create interesting activities in all subjects. In other words, just the kind of teachers I want to learn from and emulate. The teachers from each grade meet weekly to plan lessons two weeks ahead. They already have an overall plan of what will be covered and when (which is a relief for me because I don't want to leave anything essential out), and they tweak what they did last year to make it more successful. So I guess they don't need me to reinvent the wheel entirely, but to be able to provide ideas and input to help all the fourth graders be successful. So I am hoping that they will believe I can do it!

As my friend and fellow teacher advised me, I am cautiously optimistic. I can't say I don't have my hopes up, because I do, but if this doesn't work out, I will go back to my original plan (of a whole three days ago) to apply to the district which is opening a new high school, and once I have my elementary certification, any other position I'm interested in!

But oh, I would love to work at this school--it would be so wonderful to be at the same school with Miss Pink! So keep me in your thoughts and prayers, that I would get the best job for me and my family. It's been great that I've been able to stay home with my children this long, but being able to teach is a gift, too. I will not have to worry about taking off work when they are out of school, for one thing. And the stability of a guaranteed income will be good, too.

*For a description of how much I love Miss Pink's school, see this post. And probably many others, since I am willing to wax eloquent about the awesomeness of this charter school at any and every opportunity. Truly it would be a great place for any teacher to work.

On Monday, Miss Pink's class had an awards ceremony. Well, "ceremony" is a little too grand of a term, but every nine weeks the school has an assembly and passes out ribbons for no tardies and perfect attendance. Also, every teacher awards five rubber bracelets that correspond to the character traits the school promotes.

Miss Pink got a bracelet for the first two awards days, but there are 20 kids in her class and only 20 bracelets total given out for the year, so I was pretty sure she wouldn't be getting one this time because we all know elementary teachers try to give everyone a turn. I tried not to be discouraging, but when she kept saying she was hoping to win the Effort bracelet, I gently pointed out that it was possible she might not get a bracelet.

"But I MIGHT!" she told me confidently.

Yes, I agreed, she might. But it was okay if she didn't, too, because we know she is trying her hardest and doing a great job at school--her report card even said so. But it might be someone else's turn to win.

And then I wondered if I wasn't programming her to be a pessimist. Like telling your space-obsessed kid that it's very unlikely that she'll be an astronaut when she grows up. I mean, there's plenty of time for life to teach them about disappointment, right?

As it turned out, I was glad I had prepared her, because she didn't win one. And she was okay with it. One of her classmates was mad, she said. "I still am a little disappointed, though," my daughter told me.

I told her it was okay to be disappointed. Then I told her about one of my early experiences with awards.

I was six years old and had just finished the second grade. (I was almost seven, but still a year ahead because I skipped kindergarten.) Our private school had an Awards Banquet at the end of the year, and we got actual trophies (my lucky mom, figuring out where to store all those gold-painted plastic people on pillars). The year before, when I was in first grade, I had gotten a LOT of trophies. That's because the work was so easy for me--I finished a lot of work, and had a high average. But the next year, my best friend Leann (a frequent commenter here) was in first grade while I had gone on to second grade work, which was more challenging for me. She got all the trophies that year, and I fell apart. At one point, I was UNDER the banquet table, crying under the tablecloth because I wasn't the big winner.

My parents were very kind, considering they must have been mortified. I don't remember what they said to me afterward, but I have never forgotten that night. And I don't want Miss Pink to be a poor loser; but more importantly, I don't want her to judge her self-worth based on the awards, accolades, and plain old garden-variety praise that one can receive in school. I did that for a long time. To the point that I was afraid to take college honors classes in case they were too hard for me, and afraid to get a less-than-perfect grade because...well, I didn't know what would happen if I didn't get an A, but I didn't want to find out.

I was addicted to praise and approval--mostly from adults, but there was a grudging respect from my peers, too. As long as I was succeeding in school, I felt I had an identity, that I earned my place on this earth. The good grades did help me get jobs and go to graduate school, so I hope both of my children study hard and do their best. But I also hope they understand something I've learned in the years since I left school:

In real life, there are very few awards ceremonies.

Oh, you might get a raise or a gold watch when you retire. Nothing's wrong with that, but there are people who chase success at all costs, only to find themselves empty when the job plays out. And parenting--can you think of another job which requires you to do so much with so few obvious rewards?

Staying home with my first child was a major shift in self-perception for me. Who was I, now that I wasn't working full-time or going to school? I missed getting a grade or some verbal feedback to let me know how I was doing.

Of course, in the years since then, I have had plenty of days when I was grateful I wasn't being graded, because I would have gotten a big red F. I've learned that what matters is trying your best, even when your best isn't enough to keep you from falling flat on your face, then getting up again. That's what makes a winner, not collecting awards. You have to know inside that you're doing the right thing and that's always worth the effort.

And I hope I am helping Miss Pink to understand that, approximately 26 years earlier than I learned it.

The Other Side of the Coin

I've discovered that Miss P's school is awesome in part because they make parents contribute so much. I'm all for helping out, but does it have to cost so much? They are ten-dollaring me to death. Ten dollars for a school t-shirt (which I was glad I caved on because EVERY OTHER KID IN SCHOOL (seriously, every single one) had one for the athletic day). Ten for a skate rental to teach them to skate in P.E. (well, at least I don't have to teach her). Ten for a donation for the class project to auction at the fall carnival. Field trip. Oh sorry, the last one was 9.75. Not to mention fundraisers (as if most of the rest of these didn't raise funds) and school pictures. Oh, and the student teacher needs a gift before she goes....

I am just not going to do it all. I CAN'T do it all, if we want to do frivolous things like--oh, eat and splurge on a packet of new socks every once in a while. We will volunteer our time and maybe some hamburger buns (or whatever) for the carnival. I might send five dollars for the student teacher. MAYBE. If I am feeling generous that day.

I saw parents spending $30 and up at the book fair. I spent around $9 and let Miss P spend her own money for the non-book items she wanted. I love books but we can go to the library and garage sales! Also, they sold a LOT of $2.99 pens. I wanted to say to the parents with armloads, "Haven't you people heard the economy is tanking? Hoard your money for the coming apocalypse!"

Anyway, this is not to criticize other parents for spending money at book fairs. I wish I had enough extra to buy books for the teachers' classroom libraries and to bid on the carnival projects. I hate having to tell Miss P that we only have enough money for X and Y, but not Z. (I try not to say, "We can't afford that." I say, "That's not in the budget. We need to use our money wisely, and we need it for something else.") As much as I wish I could buy whatever we want--let alone what the school asks for--I think learning how to say no to excessive spending is a lesson that will help her more in real life than anything the school can teach her.

In Which I Wax Rhapsodic About My Daughter's School

So we're a few weeks into the school year and I am very happy with the experience of having a kindergartener at this school.

You should know that ever since Miss P was BORN, I had a low-level worry simmering on the back burner of my mind (how d'ya like that metaphor?) I had to decide between public or private; and if public, which district and school would be best and if would we need to move in order to obtain a good elementary education for our munchkins. Private was ruled out because of cost, and I've never thought homeschooling would be a good fit for our situation. So I decided to try to enroll her in this school, and see what happened. We got her in (it's a first-come, first-register type of deal) and now Mr. Blue can attend there too. She doesn't have to switch schools if we move, either, as long as we stay in the district, which is not a problem.

The school she now attends is a charter school, the only one in the district. It's a public school, funded by the district and subject to the same curriculum guidelines and testing. However, there are some differences--some of which may not be that different from a lot of good neighborhood schools, because they are just good educational practices, and others which do seem unusual. Some things I like:

1) The kids wear uniforms, which is becoming more and more common even in regular public elementaries. But this school is pretty strict on having the EXACT type of skort or polo shirt, which I guess could be annoying if you weren't used to it. But I went to a church school where we had to have the clothes bought from a certain store, and shoes had to be only certain colors, etc., etc., so it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. Lucky for me, Miss P likes the uniform and it is about a million times easier to get her dressed in the morning than it is when I have to have elaborate negotiations with her about what matches and what clashes and why she can't wear the same clothes she wore yesterday even if they're not dirty.

2) There are really good teachers who assign interesting and relevant work to the students. Projects posted outside the classrooms are things like blueprints designed by students in math class or Picasso-esque self-portraits in art class. The quality of the work is better than I could get out of my eighth graders. Besides her regular work, Miss P is learning quite a bit of Spanish. She now knows what abstract art is and how to create it, and about solids, liquids, and gases. As her pre-K teacher said, she is a learning sponge and she is soaking up some good stuff.

3) They have neat ways to connect kids of different ages so they learn together. On horizontal schedule, which they're on now, the kindergarteners are with other kindergarteners for special classes (but not just the same kids from their own class, so they get to know more kids their age.) All the K-2 kids also have a "buddy" who helps them find their class and open packages at lunch and even go to class with for certain activities. Kindergarteners are paired up with a 3rd grader, 1st graders with a 4th grader, and so on. Not only does it help the little ones, the older kids get to be responsible leaders. Leadership is very big at the school, so that by 5th grade every kid has an extra job at school, whether it's being a tour guide or a traffic monitor.

On vertical schedule, the kids mingle by team. Each team has one class of each grade level. So they will go to P.E. or whatever with their team, no matter their age.

4) The big plus in my book, though, is that parents are truly welcome to get involved. In fact, we are required to volunteer ten hours a year in order to have our child at the school. There are tons of volunteer opportunities, including things that can be done at home for those who can't take off work. They also have a child care room available for part of every day for moms who want to volunteer but need a place for their younger kids. The teachers WANT you to volunteer in their classroom, or you can help in the office, the library, the nurse's office, or lots of other places. I am going to eat lunch with Miss Pink tomorrow, too. It's awesome!

5) The absolute best thing is that Miss P says, "I love school!"

First Day

The first day of school. And Miss Pink's first day of kindergarten. She'd been going to preschool for three years, but that was only a few hours a week. This was the real deal.

Last night she said, "I'm a little nervous." I assured her that's perfectly normal. I told her even her uncle (who has a master's degree) is nervous going back to school. I said, "I bet you have so much fun you forget to be nervous." And she agreed.

This morning Mr. Blue woke me up earlier than I had to be up--he heard Justin getting up to go to the gym and of course the little guy was "hundry." Soon after that I woke his sister up and she was rarin' to go. I could barely get her to stand still for pictures before she was out the door and ready to walk to school--it's across the street.

We were the first ones to class (it wasn't THAT early, about 15 minutes before the first bell) and after she got started with some playdough, I asked her if she wanted me to stick around for a few minutes or go ahead and go. "I want you to go ahead and go," she said. A hug and a kiss and that was it.

Did I cry? No, I didn't think I would and I was right. Miss P was never clingy, even as an infant, and that has conditioned me to let her go when she's ready to be independent. I did wonder if she would miss me when the other kids came in with their parents. Maybe there's something wrong with me for not being emotional, I thought. My husband did tell me I'm the "least clingy" mom he knows. Really? The LEAST clingy? That sounds like I'm giving the kids a piece of bread and shoving them out into the woods for bears to eat them. But he meant it as a compliment, and since he doesn't know any for-real neglectful parents, I guess I'll take it that way.

Mr. Blue and I went to the gym and the bank. Not long after we got home, I got a call from the school nurse. Miss P had thrown up while on the playground. But the nurse said, she was begging not to go home on her first day of school. "I only threw up because I was hot and hungry," Miss Pink argued her case (something she's VERY good at). The nurse said she'd let her stay if I was okay with it, and she'd call if something else happened. I said yes, but spent the rest of the day second-guessing myself.

Apparently I made the right decision, because she didn't throw up again even after eating lunch or tonight (although she burped a lot this evening--I have no idea how the gas could be connected, but I gave her medicine for it and her tummy felt better before bedtime). Maybe she DID just get overheated and overexcited--Lord knows I've vomited under those conditions, except I was in college and I threw up in front of the entire football team; THAT was not one of my finer moments, let me tell you.

I had more to say, especially about how annoyed I was at the school for not providing drop-off and pick-up instructions before today, but I need to stop now and go hang out with my husband for a few minutes before getting into bed. That 6:30 wake-up time kicked my tail.

So let me just say to Miss Pink, if she reads this in a few years, that I am so proud of you, my precious girl. I will be right behind you, ready to pick you up and comfort you if you need me, but also willing to stand back and let you have your own adventures. Just don't forget to come back home and tell me what you learned along the way.

What's Going On

Last night was Miss Pink's preschool "graduation." It was cute and she was so proud of herself. But I didn't cry--I'm just not sentimental about things like that, and besides, I'm just happy she's going to kindergarten next year. When she was a newborn, my husband and I would lie in bed after we'd gotten her to sleep, knowing she was going to wake us up again in a few hours, and say, "Well, we kept her alive another day." Back then, it seemed an impossibly long time until she'd be a kindergartener. I count it as an accomplishment that we are all still alive and happy to be here.

Anyway, it was a little sad that Miss Pink's beloved teacher couldn't be there because she had gotten really sick. We all knew that for this teacher to miss the program, she had to be REALLY sick. Seriously, she is one of the best teachers I have ever met--and I was a teacher, so I've known quite a few good ones. She has a real gift with young children. So we were sorry not to say a last goodbye and to give her our gift in person. But she is coming to a classmate's pool party in a couple of weeks, so we will get to see her then.

I had a feeling the excitement of the last day of school was going to wear off for Miss P, since she loves school so much. And sure enough, that night there were real tears: "I miss Ms. Teacher! I am so sad that I don't get to see her anymore." I held her and empathized. "I know you miss her. I'll miss her too. I'm just glad you had such a good teacher that you feel this way about her."

By bedtime she was okay and finding out about the party today made her happy. I hope she loves school for a few more years at least.

Speaking of school, the preschool where Miss P has been going for three years decided to have a 2-year-old class this year! Last year they did two 3-year-old classes instead and the 3-day one never filled up, so now they will have a 2-day for both 2 and 3 year olds. (Was that confusing enough, with all the 2s and 3s?) Anyway, I had Mr. Blue on a waiting list at another school, but I wasn't pursuing any other schools. But when the school we already know and love told me they could take him next year, I jumped at the chance. Two mornings a week, four hours at a time... where do I sign up? Plus he is familiar with the school and always wants to play on the playground or with the toys in the classes when we go in. I asked him if he wants to go to school and he said, "Yis," without any hesitation at all.

One last thing--I met with my new psychiatrist today. (I've never had a psychiatrist before, so any psychiatrist would've been my first.) I feel really good about working with her. She was very helpful and understanding. We decided to up the dosage of my antidepressant one notch and see how that goes. Basically she thinks it was just a little slip back into the anxiety part of my depression and we are not going to let it go back any farther. Good to know.

I'm glad I have had support (both from y'all in the computer and in real life) to get this kind of help. Some people are not so lucky. A friend of a friend is really suffering from panic attacks right now, and our mutual friend (who has also been through the same thing) was encouraging her to see a psychiatrist and possibly go to counseling, but she is not ready to take that step. They don't have insurance and her husband didn't want to go that route for financial reasons. At first her doctor didn't want to prescribe anything but finally she got the courage to insist, so at least she is on an antidepressant. I am praying for her because I know how it feels to be in that kind of pain, and to wonder if you are ever going to get better. If you can remember her in your thoughts and prayers, I would really appreciate it.

We're in!

By waiting in front of my computer and typing madly as soon as the link became available, I got Miss Pink into the charter school!

YAY!

This means Mr. Blue will be guaranteed a spot when he enters kindergarten, too. So I don't have to go through this in three years. Thank goodness, because I don't think I could stand the suspense.

Let me assure you that I am no school snob. If Miss Pink had not gotten in, we would have sent her to her assigned elementary school and been fine with it. The attempt to get her into this school was nothing compared to the competition to get in the preschools in NYC and Chicago. They have entrance interviews and IQ testing in those places! Sending my kids to a charter school was more about finding a school where they would learn well, not trying to get into Harvard or anything. I just wanted to make sure y'all knew that.

I know that no school is perfect, and Miss Pink and Mr. Blue will still have challenges in school that I will have to help them deal with. But I think this school sounds like a good fit for them. I like that the school believes in multiple intelligences, that every child has gifts and abilities that may not show up on a standardized test. Miss Pink would be fine, I think, in a traditional classroom with lots of reading and writing and sitting at a desk doing worksheets. But she is also artistic and social (interpersonal intelligence). At this school, there is a lot of cooperative learning because their philosophy is that we learn better when we talk about what we're learning instead of just listening to a lecture. (Sort of what we've discovered in the small groups model for churches, right?) Since Miss Pink loves to talk about what she's learning,* this should be perfect for her.

*wonder where she gets that from?

So we shall see. I am committed to volunteering my time at the school (parents must do 10 hours minimum)--not to be hovering over my kid, but to help make the school the best it can be.

A lot of the other parents feel the same way. As my friend said today, "All the other parents really wanted their kids in that school, so it's bound to have a positive atmosphere." I truly believe that parental involvement is the key to a good education for children--not more federal dollars, not fancier technology in the classroom. As a parent, if you are involved in your child's education, whether you're a public, private, or homeschooling family, you are doing the best thing you can do for their future.

When I started this post, I was just going to type the first line. Please don't hate me for my longwindedness!

Mr. Blue didn't get into the preschool I chose for the fall. Yesterday was the FIRST day for signing up (I'm assuming after the siblings of current students have had a chance to enroll) and the 2-year-old classes were already full. I could have gone yesterday, but it was cold and rainy, so after we got groceries, I thought, "Let's just go home." So now because we waited ONE day, we're on a waiting list, although close to the top.

It's actually okay with me if it doesn't work out. He's only two, it's not like preschool is a necessity. It was mainly going to be a safe place where he could play with other kids and learn a few things and do art projects that Mommy isn't creative enough to think up. And (let's be honest) so I could have some time alone for the first time in a few years. I would still like that to happen, and people move or change their minds, so if he gets in, I'll be happy. However, as long as he takes naps, I think I can survive the all-day togetherness. (I realize I have just jinxed myself. I am knocking on wood RIGHT NOW. Although not loudly enough to wake him up from his blessed, wonderful nap.)

My lack of distress probably has something to do with the fact that he's my baby. One more year at home all day--eh, that's fine, we'll take a music class and call it good. We have a playgroup and he does well in the gym daycare when we go, so those are good ways to break up the day. Plus I can think of other ways to spend the tuition.

He's already on the list for Miss Pink's current preschool (they don't have a two-year-old class anymore, or that's where he'd be going next year) so the '09 and '10 school years are good to go.

Now if I only knew for sure where Miss Pink will be going to kindergarten. The online lottery for Educational Nirvana (kidding) is Friday at 10 am. Send good wishes for fast fingers for me!