The Best Part Is That I Got to Sleep Until 10 This Morning

Twitter is just not helping my blogging life, because I post updates on there and forget I haven't updated here. Then I'm kind of tired about thinking about it because I have been thinking about it so often...but I did want to update here because this blog is now the official written record of my life and how else am I going to remember something if I don't blog about it?

First, I did pass my elementary certification test. Not to brag (well, actually, I am bragging, but please don't hold it against me) but I scored a 284 out of 300 (that's something I didn't put on Twitter or Facebook). Most of the questions I missed were Math (big shock there). But I thought that was a good score considering that I only had three days to study and haven't been paid to teach for 6 1/2 years. Proof that once a teacher, always a teacher, I guess.

Second, I haven't gotten any interviews yet, but it may still happen since there are a few jobs available in my area. Anyway, if I don't get hired, I'll sub and then I have a better chance of getting hired next year or even during the year if I take over for a teacher who had to quit unexpectedly.

Also: today is my birthday. I am 34. I think I now have to admit that I am in my mid-30s. It's okay, though. I like my 30s. I am more confident than I was in my 20s. And I will always be 7 years younger than my husband. I tell him I'm his trophy wife--he was just smart enough to marry a younger woman the first time around.

Yesterday we drove to Arkansas to visit my dad's brother and his family. Justin made some cabinets for my late grandparents' house, which one of my cousins and his wife bought. I'm glad that house is staying in the family; I have a lot of good memories of it. My oldest cousin's daughter is visiting her grandparents, and she and Miss Pink are having as much fun as her mama and I used to have. Another cousin is coming over tonight with her son, who is Mr. Blue's age. I'm enjoying spending time with the family since we usually only get to see each other once a year and it's usually for a funeral or a wedding. This is much more relaxed.

Oh, and I promise to blog and comment more often instead of obsessing about the job search! Other blog topic suggestions would be appreciated, though, since I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else.

I'm back! Well, I never actually went anywhere but I was not on the Internet for a few days while I was studying to take a test to be certified to teach PreK--4th grade. Okay, that's not actually true either. I was on the Internet a little bit, but I only had the mental energy to skim the blogs I subscribe to and not enough to come up with any comments or to post an update. I really did study a lot from last Sunday to Wednesday. I haven't studied that much since college, 13 years ago (dear God, I'm old). My proven study method is to write down everything important in condensed form. Then read it back to myself, preferably out loud. Then if there's time, try to quiz myself. I did the first two with the 400-page book I bought to study. At one point my hand cramped up. But I just learn things better when I write them.

I did very little around the house while I was studying. The kids watched more TV than usual, the laundry piled up, and our meals were less nutritious than usual. Justin was a big help, though. He took a day off and took the kids to swimming lessons so that I could have some uninterrupted study time, and every night he took care of their needs while I studied.

And I'm pretty sure I passed--I'd be really surprised if I didn't. There were only about 3 questions that I had to blindly guess between two choices--and 50-50 is still pretty good odds. In a couple of days, I'll find out if I'm certified to teach elementary.

However, I didn't get the job at my daughter's school. Naturally, I was disappointed, but not shocked, because a lot of teachers in the district probably applied, and the woman who got the job is currently teaching at that grade level. The principal was nice enough to compliment me on my enthusiasm and skills, and said she'd be happy to consider me if anything else came up. Which was nice of her to say, but I doubt it will this year. This is the absolute last minute for teachers to resign, and if I get offered another job that seems like a good fit, I'm going to take it so I can start preparing. If it's a secondary (6-12) job, I probably won't ever teach elementary. So I felt bad for an hour or two, because I worked so hard taking this test I may not even need. And then I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I had decided to walk through the doors that open, not bang my head on the doors that stay closed. At least I have increased my options.

I have applications out at several nearby school districts, for quite a few different jobs. I am having a hard time not getting impatient, even though I just applied for some of them Thursday and it was a holiday weekend so...yeah, I wasn't going to hear anything. It's just that everything in this whole process has been so super-speedy that I guess I just expected to get calls right away.

Even if I don't get a full-time job, I can sub several days a week and get my foot in the door, maybe end up with a long-term subbing position. I've known subs to get permanent jobs that way. But there is a good chance I will get something in the next month since the schools are still looking for people. It's so funny to me that I'm applying for anything from 2nd grade to seniors.

In other news, the kids finished their swimming lessons. This is their third year taking lessons from these teachers, who are P.E. teachers during the year, so both women are very patient and good at giving feedback. Every year I'm amazed at how much the kids learn. Miss Pink is now swimming across the length of the pool, getting dive sticks off the bottom, swimming underwater, and has started to learn the backstroke. Mr. Blue (who has only done Mommy & Me before this year) spent the first four days screaming because he didn't like going underwater, but then he was fine and and can even swim a little on top of the water without being held, and can swim underwater to get a ring off the steps.

On the Fourth we got up early to participate in a neighborhood parade by my parents' house. Then we hung around, the kids and I made a cake decorated like a flag, and we grilled hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch. We came back to our house and then watched the fireworks from the flat roof on top of our playroom. Today my brother and his fiancee came to church and went out to lunch with us. It's been a good weekend.

Huge Life Change Update

Hi, everybody! Sorry to leave you hanging with no post after that last one that was all "what am I going to do to make enough money so my children will not go HUNGRYYYY?" but as you will soon see, I have been super busy for the past few days and haven't had any time to post until now. I have tweeted about the fast-and-furious changes here at my Twitter page, if you are like me and just can't get enough of your favorite bloggers. And of course I am one of your favorite bloggers, right? *cough cough*grin*

Let's see, what day was it when Justin and I decided that I should start applying for jobs? I think it was Tuesday that I emailed the principal of Miss Pink's school about an aide position that was posted on the district web site. She called me back Wednesday and by that time I was able to tell her that I had decided that if I was going to work full time, that I should go back to teaching ($45,600 vs. 13,000--probably worth the extra stress of having one's own class, no?) She mentioned that they just had a 4th grade position open up the DAY BEFORE. It was her idea to have me come in to interview. She loved it that I am a parent at the school and totally invested in the school's philosophy and success. *

So I went to the interview yesterday at 2 and it went very well. I felt very confident in the way I was able to answer the questions of the principal and the lead 4th grade teacher and they seemed to respond well to me. We even talked about the educational possibilities of Twitter! The fact that I have been at home for 6 years didn't seem to bother them, as I have kept teaching Sunday School and volunteer tutoring at their school, not to mention teaching my own little learning sponges. I was able to show them that I do have experience with elementary students and their schoolwork when I worked at Sylvan Learning Center, where I tutored kids of all ages and helped them get their reading and math skills up to grade level. Many people have said to me that I would make a good elementary teacher, and I hope I get the opportunity to try.

The only issue is that I do have to be certified in the elementary grades (my current certification is English for grades 6-12). To do that, I have to pass a test for Early Childhood through 4th grade which includes language arts (almost half of the points), math, social studies, science, health, art, and music. The principal has to know that I have passed the test before she could present me to the board as their choice to hire. So I registered to take the test at the next earliest date, July 2. That only gives me a few days to study (I ordered a book from Amazon and it should be here Monday) but I took the official sample test online and scored 91%, so I feel good about taking it. I just hope that the principal and lead teacher think I am a good enough candidate to wait a few days for, AND that some darn experienced elementary teacher doesn't come along and take the job!

That leads me to the only other issue, which is the math and science. *I* am feeling confident in my ability to teach those subjects, but this school is top-rated in the state-mandated tests and wants to maintain their ranking. They do not want to risk letting any students fall through the cracks, either; it's not just teaching to the test. If it were, we'd just spend all year doing TAKS worksheets and having a boring class. No, these are creative teachers who go above and beyond to create interesting activities in all subjects. In other words, just the kind of teachers I want to learn from and emulate. The teachers from each grade meet weekly to plan lessons two weeks ahead. They already have an overall plan of what will be covered and when (which is a relief for me because I don't want to leave anything essential out), and they tweak what they did last year to make it more successful. So I guess they don't need me to reinvent the wheel entirely, but to be able to provide ideas and input to help all the fourth graders be successful. So I am hoping that they will believe I can do it!

As my friend and fellow teacher advised me, I am cautiously optimistic. I can't say I don't have my hopes up, because I do, but if this doesn't work out, I will go back to my original plan (of a whole three days ago) to apply to the district which is opening a new high school, and once I have my elementary certification, any other position I'm interested in!

But oh, I would love to work at this school--it would be so wonderful to be at the same school with Miss Pink! So keep me in your thoughts and prayers, that I would get the best job for me and my family. It's been great that I've been able to stay home with my children this long, but being able to teach is a gift, too. I will not have to worry about taking off work when they are out of school, for one thing. And the stability of a guaranteed income will be good, too.

*For a description of how much I love Miss Pink's school, see this post. And probably many others, since I am willing to wax eloquent about the awesomeness of this charter school at any and every opportunity. Truly it would be a great place for any teacher to work.

I was going to write a long "What I Learned This Week" post but I just had a conversation with my husband that I don't know how to process and I can't think about anything else. His business is seriously struggling. He has huge cabinet jobs in progress and waiting to start, and the builder won't give him any money, so he can't buy materials or pay his guys. So I don't know what is going to happen. He says he and his partner are going to "ride it out until the bitter end" but it looks like we might not be able to keep the business going.

I don't mind working, but there are no secondary English teaching jobs available right now. I could sub, but child care for Mr. Blue is a problem since I would never know from day to day when I'd be working. I just hate not knowing what we are facing.

Please pray for me. I could really use it now.

Conversion

Hello, all! I hope you're having a great Friday. Here's the interesting question I found in my little black book of questions.

If you had to convert to a different religion, which would you choose?

For me, it would be Judaism, for a number of reasons. First of all, both Christians and Jews worship the God of the Bible, so it would be closest to what I already hold as truth. Secondly, I admire the Jewish emphasis on family and community, and the rabbinic tradition of interpreting the Scriptures.

What about you? And if you aren't religious, which religion most appeals to you?

What I Learned This Week #15

As usual, I remember thinking several times last week, "Oh, I need to remember that for WILTW" --and of course I don't remember them. So I guess the first thing I learned this week is

1. At my age, I need to write things down or I won't remember them.

2. I also learned that there is a very good improvisational comedy group in Fort Worth. They are called Four Day Weekend and they are hilarious! They do skits and songs based on news headlines, suggestions from the audience, and random audience members whom they pick out and interview. If you've ever seen "Whose Line Is It Anyway," it's a lot like that. Justin and I loved it. We went there Friday night to celebrate our 12th anniversary (a week late, but who cares). My dad picked the kids up at lunchtime, and Justin came home soon after. It was so nice to spend the afternoon not having to jump up every five minutes and get somebody a drink or tell them to stop taking each other's toys. Then we went out to dinner. We were in the mood for steak so we went to Outback Steakhouse. After the comedy show, we got some ice cream at Marble Slab. I was SO full--I haven't eaten that much food in a long time. Then we got to sleep in the next morning and met my parents and the kids at our favorite breakfast place in Ft. Worth-- the Paris Coffee Shop, a diner that has been there for at least fifty years. A wonderful time was had by all.

3. Progress is continuing to be made in the "Don't Let Miss Pink Be a Pack Rat" campaign that I have been operating for the past four years. Yesterday we went through her art drawer, which is a drawer built into her bed that holds all the artwork she accumulates until it is so full that we can hardly open the drawer. I always let her keep 50 pieces of her favorite work. She sorts the HUGE pile of paper into "Yes" "No" and "Maybe" piles. This time she was much more decisive and put a lot of stuff right into the "No" pile. (I've already chosen my favorites for the scrapbook, so everything else is hers to choose.) I'm proud of her.

That's all I can remember! To see what others have learned, head over to Musings of a Housewife's What I Learned This Week carnival.

When I Was Fifteen

The titles of these posts reminds me of the Frank Sinatra song that goes, "When I was seventeen, it was a very good year..." One of my friend's dads used to sing to us, "When I was eighty-two, it was a very good year; my arthritis was bad and my hip was replaced" or words to that effect. None of that happened when I was fifteen, but I managed to get more dramatic than when I was five and when I was ten. My lucky, lucky parents, who had to live with me when I lost the Love of My Life--or the boy who was the love of my life that month. Disclaimer: I actually have forgotten which boys I had crushes on which years, so I'm saying this is accurate plus or minus one year. Someday I might see if my mom still has my old diaries. I'm cringing just thinking about it.

Fifteen

Today at lunch L. looked at me and I almost died. I was just sitting there with my sandwich in my hand while the girls around me talked about things I couldn’t care less about, and I guess I was staring at the side of his face, the way his sideburn lines up exactly with the middle of his ear, and the scattering of freckles across his cheekbone. And the next thing I knew, he was looking back at me. I jumped like I’d been caught stealing and I hope I didn’t blush but I probably did. I immediately kept my eyes glued to my sandwich. If I’d just looked back for a second, smiled, and looked casually at someone else, it might not have been as obvious how I feel about him. But I think he knows anyway, even before today.

When did I start liking him? It wasn’t when I was dating his younger brother, who’s closer to my age, but who dumped me and started dating another girl that very night. Sure, L. was super nice to me after his brother did that; he told me his brother was “stupid” and I took that to mean he thinks I’m cute. So my feelings probably started there, and now I think L. is much better for me than his brother; even if his brother is somewhat better looking, he is not nearly as much of a gentleman as L, and that counts a lot with me.

But L. doesn’t ask me out, and I wonder if he’s still crazy about K. They only went out for a little while, but when she picked a different guy, L. took it hard. She IS the prettiest girl at our school, with her blond hair, big blue eyes, and perfect figure. All the guys want to go out with her and all the girls want to BE her. I don’t necessarily want to be blond, but she’s exactly the height I wish I was: 5’6”. I hate being short, especially since L. is tall. And I look nothing like her, so if she’s L’s only type, then I’m in trouble.

I know I shouldn’t have written that poem for him, because that was right about the time I really started to have feelings for him, and here he was asking me to write a poem about how he feels about her. I just used my imagination and the words came flowing out—okay, I used some of my feelings about him, too. I thought he would be impressed. And he was: so impressed he COPIED IT IN HIS HANDWRITING AND GAVE IT TO HER AND LET HER THINK HE WROTE IT.

She was impressed, too. Flattered. She didn’t get back together with him, but you could tell she liked having a poem written about her. How would she like it if she knew it wasn’t really about her at all?

He apologized later. I had to forgive him; I couldn’t help myself. But just because he felt sorry for me doesn’t mean that he suddenly realized how we are perfect for each other, like we would if this were a teenage movie. It’s more like Cyrano de Bergerac, the play I read once where a guy who has a gigantic nose falls in love with a girl named Roxane,* but she’s interested in the gorgeous guy who’s so dumb he can’t even talk to her. Cyrano writes the guy’s letters to her, and even hides in a bush to tell him what to say to win her heart. At the end of course, she realizes that she’s fallen in love with the man who could come up with those words to express his feelings, not the pretty face.

Which didn’t happen here. K. has the pretty face, and I am the guy with the giant nose. (Not literally, thank goodness, but I might as well, since L. isn’t interested in me.)

Maybe I should cry a while, or listen to “On My Own” from Les Miserables over and over again. I always cry when Eponine sings about loving Marius even though he barely knows she exists because he loves that sickly sweet Cosette, and then Eponine bravely dies on the barricade the next day. Then I’ll be in the right frame of mind to write some more poetry. It will be either inspired by T.S. Eliot or Emily Dickinson, because all my poems sound like one or the other. I like the Romantics too, but I can’t write like Keats or Shelley since they are so old-fashioned sounding.

As far as the rest of my life, it’s fine, I guess. My mom and dad are trying to be understanding about L and why I cry and cry whenever I realize all over again that he doesn’t like me. But they don’t get it. I bet they never felt about someone the way I feel about L. My feelings are a burning flame deep in my bones and I wish I could just burn into ashes; instead, I just burn endlessly like a torch in the arid desert air.

Hey, that’s pretty good—maybe I could use it in my poem. Why can’t we write poetry for English instead of diagramming sentences? There is no scope for imagination in diagramming sentences.**

*There’s a Steve Martin movie called Roxanne based on this play, which is by Edmond Rostand. But I hadn’t seen the movie, and I had read the play. I read everything, even my parents’ old college literature textbooks.

**Yes, I know I shamelessly stole this from L.M. Montgomery’s Anne of Green Gables. But my mother says I AM Anne, especially when I was fifteen. Plus, I am giving her credit, which is better than L. did with my poor little love poem.