1983: Mother finally gives in to Alison's begging and allows her to read Gone With the Wind. Alison reads it in one day, almost making herself sick. Wants to be Scarlett O'Hara.
1983-1987: Spends a LOT of time outside, riding her bike, exploring the "woods" behind their house, and even playing basketball. This marks the last time in her life she can be described as "outdoorsy" or "sporty."
1987: The boy next door, a good friend, is killed in a three-wheeler accident while Alison is at camp. Her parents don't tell her until she gets home after the funeral, which makes coming to terms with his death even more difficult.
1987-1995: Writes many first pages of awful historical romance novels ripped off of Jane Eyre and Gone With the Wind. Also bad poetry imitative of Emily Dickinson or T.S. Eliot.
1988: Gets braces off and, thanks to teen movies, expects every boy she knows to fall in love with her. This does not happen.
1988: Develops a massive crush on her 23-year-old volleyball coach. Devastated to learn he's engaged, but does not learn her lesson about crushing on totally unavailable/uninterested guys.
1988: Finally is allowed to listen to "light rock" station instead of just Christian music. The way is paved for a decade of bad musical taste that features the New Kids on the Block, Michael Bolton, and even Milli Vanilli.
1990: Father informs her that she needs to get a job because he had one at her age. Father has failed to take into account that she is below the legal age limit, but a yogurt shop in the mall hires her anyway.
1991: Takes driver's ed class, where driving instructor impatiently skips over the parallel parking part of the curriculum, grabbing the wheel and parking the car instead of teaching Alison how to do it. Yes, she's still bitter.
1991: Takes the driving test on her sixteenth birthday because it seems necessary to have her driver's license as soon as possible. Fails because she has no idea how to parallel park. Sets a personal record for "Birthday with Most Tears Shed."
1991: Learns how to parallel park and passes the driving test. Ironically, it turns out she doesn't really like to drive and (even twenty years later) will let anyone else drive whenever possible.
1992: Graduates from high school as valedictorian of her class. However, there are only six people in her graduating class, so that makes her accomplishment less impressive.
1992: Tells her father she's not sure she wants to go to college (because secretly the thought of being in classes with more than six people scares her). Father wisely does not overreact; instead he says fine, but she will need to get a full-time job. It takes approximately six seconds for Alison to decide she's going to college.
*End of childhood*
These posts were great! Loved reading about your childhood...
ReplyDeleteI remember those woods by your house. I think that was the last time I was outdoorsy, too.
ReplyDeleteCollege v. Full time job? Good call.
ReplyDeleteI am also not a huge fan of driving but I am a fantastic parallel parker and make a point of showing that skill off whenever possible.
How awful you had a childhood friend die. But that was a tough call for your folks to make - whether to tell you while you were at camp or not.
ReplyDeleteYou'd make an awesome Scarlett O'Hara. (Though hopefully less selfish and immature.)