This was given to the moms who attended the "Mother's Tea" at my daughter's school last night. Several of them made me giggle...and almost all of them have come true!
You know you're a mom when...
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
Your child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of food on a plate without anything touching.
Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office... and you do it.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job," but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.