Talkety talk talk talk

I'm so glad y'all haven't forgotten me even though I never update anymore. It's not totally true that I don't have time to update--I do keep up with the blogs in my reader, although some days the posts pile up--but rather, I don't seem to ever have the mental energy to put coherent words together, since all I do all day long is talk, talk, TALK and no one listens to me the first time. Like this: Me: "When you are done with your quiz--no, DO NOT get up to get your quiz and walk in front of me WHILE I AM STILL TALKING--turn it in to the plastic tray and read chapter 15." Student: "Where do we turn it in?" Me: "Into the tray." Another student, quiz in hand: "Where am I supposed to put this?" Student: "What chapter are we reading?" (This is also written on the board.) Me: facepalm.

Did I mention they have been doing THE SAME ROUTINE  all year long? Sixth graders are spacy, y'all.

Anyway, I am not complaining. (Shut up, I'm not!) Or I wouldn't be if I got a full-time job. I've applied for several and haven't heard back from any of them yet. BUT all hope is not lost. Those interviews with the job fair? I got an average score of 5. Which sounds unimpressive--except that the scores were out of a total of 5. So both interview panels gave me a top score. That was a nice boost to my self-esteem. If I don't get a full-time position, it's not because I didn't do my best! The HR department will be sending the best scores to the principals, so maybe I'll get a nibble from that.

Also, the high school here in town has a job open. I am not one to be forward about self-promotion, but desperate times call for desperate measures, so I emailed the head of the department, whom I'd gotten to know while I was a long-term sub there, and she emailed back that I am definitely on her list. So. Now I wait.

I am not very good with the waiting. It's good that I am staying busy with teaching. I'm also looking forward to summer...but not looking forward to not making any money since Justin's company is still running out of money before we get paid again...sigh.

Where was I? Oh right...I was NOT complaining! Miss Pink just joined Girl Scouts last month, and she loves it. She went on her first campout this weekend. At first she was uncertain about going without me (there wasn't enough room for me, and frankly I was okay with that, because I am not a happy camper, or indeed a camper of any kind). Justin was kind of like, "YOU NEED TO GO," because he feels very strongly that the kids need to try new things and get outside their comfort zones so they won't be paralyzed by risk like the woman he is married to. And then I shot him a Warning Look because Miss Pink and I are enough alike that I know you can't force a uber-sensitive and imaginative child to stop having anxious feelings and JUST SUCK IT UP and GO ALREADY. Try that, and there WILL be tears. Many, many tears. Instead, I said something to Miss Pink like, "Well, honey, we aren't going to force you to go. But I bet it will be a lot of fun. You love the outdoors, and everything they are going to do." [Here I recapped all the things that were going to be So! Much! Fun! Which also included a Spa Day, and I found that hilarious. A Spa Day in the wilderness! THAT part I would have enjoyed.]

And Justin caught on, and slyly said, "And just think about it: how are you going to feel when all of the other girls come back saying what an awesome time they had, and you will be the only one who didn't go? Will you be sorry you didn't go if it turns out it was a great experience?"

Well, she dithered a while longer and I kept repeating, "We aren't going to force you to go, but we think you should try it." Finally she decided to go, and then she got really excited about it, and just like her first day of preschool and her first day of kindergarten, couldn't wait for me to leave so she could get on with having fun. And she did have a lot of fun. She wasn't homesick at all, discovered many bugs and a baby snake (whaaa?) and can't stop talking about the s'more she made.

Oh, and when we asked about the spa day? She said tactfully, "That wasn't my favorite part."

And this is where I tear up, thinking about my baby, my little girl, who has her own interests, her own plans, and her own experiences, which are gradually taking her farther and farther away from me. It's my job to encourage her to take those steps...but oh, how bittersweet it is to let her go.