Winter Wimps

We just found out that our school district will be closed tomorrow--the FOURTH day in a row--due to snow, yes, but mostly because of ice that is staying on the roads because the temperatures have stayed below freezing even during the daytime. We are just not used to this in Texas. I can't remember ever being out of school for this many days in a row. Another teacher just posted this graph on the school bulletin board and I had to laugh because...it's true. We are total wimps when it comes to real winter conditions. (Click on the graph to enlarge.)

We were SO excited Tuesday. Spent most of the day in our PJs, drinking hot cocoa, toasting our toes in front of the fire, reading to the kids. Pretty happy on Wednesday. Tried to attend a business meeting Justin and I both had to be at, which the other person then abruptly canceled (after demanding that we come on Tuesday in the first place--it certainly wasn't our idea!) and insisted we reschedule for today. So I was kind of relieved I didn't have to take off work for it since school was closed anyway. Miss Pink threw up last night starting after dinner until 4:15 am. Took care of the meeting today and stopped to get a few groceries and some fast food for everyone who felt like eating (i.e. not Miss Pink, who although she has not thrown up anymore today, has not eaten anything either. She has kept down water and Sprite so at least she is not dehydrated.) I definitely resemble the person on Day 3 and hope I will not look like Day 4 tomorrow. Because if I fall down, the kids will jump up and down on top of me. And then fight over who gets to be the one jumping on Mommy. Because they just love me SO MUCH.

I mean, how ridiculous that I haven't even finished a blog post since Tuesday. I certainly hope fate doesn't decide to make me catch Miss Pink's virus (Mr. Blue had the same thing last Friday) and miss work when the weather finally improves!

Ironically, the icemaker in our fridge decided to (mostly) stop working. We had to buy ice cube trays.

Crazy?

Today I was teaching the poems of Emily Dickinson--one of my favorite poets--and I was prying answers out of them like pulling teeth leading a discussion about the following poem:

Much madness is divinest sense

To a discerning eye;

Much sense the starkest madness.

’T is the majority

In this, as all, prevails.

Assent, and you are sane;

Demur,—you ’re straightway dangerous,

And handled with a chain.

I explained that the first lines of the poem contain a paradox: a statement that appears impossible or contradictory at first, but contains a deeper truth. I We decided that the paradox here is that behavior that seems crazy can actually have a method to its madness, or come from a person who is ahead of his time. Human beings get very uncomfortable when one of their own deviates from the norm, however. It reminded me of an experience I had in college, so I shared it with the students, who at least were interested enough not to fall asleep (many of them do tend to drowse off when we're reading poetry).

I was taking a sociology class, and the assignment was to identify a social norm, violate it in public, and write up our observations of people's reactions. For example, there is a social norm not to make lengthy eye contact in an elevator, so you could stare at people in elevators and see how they react. (I'm guessing not well.) I wasn't up for that kind of awkwardness, so I decided to go to church barefoot. Completely barefoot--no socks or anything. We weren't allowed to explain what we were doing while the experiment was going on, not even if people asked directly, but afterward we were supposed to debrief them so they wouldn't be driven crazy by curiosity.

It turned out I had two basic kinds of reactions to describe. First, the four- and five-year-olds knew it wasn't normal for a grownup to have bare feet in church. And they didn't mind asking me straight out, "Why are you barefoot?" And, inevitably, the next question was, "Can we be barefoot too?" They didn't much mind that I was breaking the norm if they got to break it too.

As far as grownups, people who didn't know me just gave me weird looks, but you could see the wheels spinning in the brains of acquaintances who were trying to piece together why in the world I had nothing on my feet. "She seemed so normal the last time I saw her," they seemed to be thinking. Yet they didn't want to violate the norm of minding their own business by asking me directly like the kids did. Some people made up their own explanations, like "So did you hurt your foot?" But they knew that wasn't it either, because I didn't have on a brace or even a bandage. I would smile and change the subject, and you could tell it was bugging the daylights out of them.

My dad let me make an announcement after church as my professor had instructed, and oh, the relief that washed over the faces of those who had noticed my weirdness! It was a fun experience even for someone like me who doesn't like to venture into the "weird" end of the spectrum of human behavior. But I learned that I wanted to be more like the little kids, whose attitude was, "That's weird, but it looks fun--can I try it?"

Finding Time

At the library, I recently picked up a copy of a book titled 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, by Laura Vanderkam. In the introduction, Vanderkam writes that you really do have enough time to do the things you think you are too busy to do, like exercise, a write a novel, build a successful career and a happy family, and even...sleep eight hours a night.

Well, that caught my attention. Because there isn't anything more important to me than sleep--and I include my husband and children in that equation. If I don't get my sleep, I am a rotten human being to be around, and it goes without saying, a terrible mother and wife. For a while, under the "Interests" part of my Blogger profile, I had "Getting enough sleep." And I wasn't even remotely joking.

I haven't finished the book yet, so this isn't a complete review. But I like the way the first few chapters have jump-started my thinking. The first chapter is called "The Myth of the Time Crunch." We all know how busy we feel, and how busy everyone claims to be. Yet the best evidence we have says we aren't as busy as we think we are. A third of Americans who work full-time claim to work more than 50 hours per week, and 12 percent say they work more than 60 hours a week. We tell pollsters that we sleep less than 7 hours per night; moms who work full-time and have school-aged kids claim to sleep less than 6 hours per night, saying there's just too much for them to do to spend more time in bed. However, these are self-reported estimates when a researcher calls and asks a person how much time they spend on each activity. People tend to overestimate how much time they spend working and doing chores, and underestimate time spent sleeping and watching TV, for example.

When researchers ask people to keep detailed records of how they spend their time in a day, it turns out that Americans sleep about 8 hours a night, even working moms with little kids. We also work a lot less than we think we do.The average full-time employee works 35-43 hours per week. Sadly, women who work full-time only spend 11 minutes a day on average playing or doing hobbies with their kids--but mothers who go part-time only make it to 21 minutes a day, and stay-at-home moms are about 30 minutes. Ouch! Dads aren't any better, averaging 15-18 minutes a day (I KNOW Justin does more than this; he and the kids wrestle every night!) Americans also watch a lot more TV than we think--18-23 hours per week.  It's hard to think of anyone who would say that's a good use of our time, yet  it's easier to zone out in front of the screen than do some of the activities we say we wish we had time for.

Vanderkam includes many stories of people who are achieving true work-life balance by choosing to fill their 168 hours with the things that really matter to them. They decide on goals they want to achieve, then figure out ways to fit the important activities into their weekly schedule and get those things done no matter what. Usually this involves minimizing time-wasters (maybe I should write more on this in another post, so that this one doesn't get too long). It's inspiring to read about people who are doing great things in their field while leaving the office at 5 pm, attending their kids' soccer games, and taking plenty of time to recharge.

Vanderkam recommends starting with keeping  your own time diary so you can see how you spend your time. It's like keeping a food diary when you go on a diet or writing down everything you spend before you make a budget. The idea is sound--how can you change your time budget if you don't know how you're spending your hours? I've been keeping a record this week, and it's not that hard--every time I get a break, I write down what I've done since the last break. I'm going to do another week, since this week was a little atypical in that it was the first week back after a break, so I was dragging around without much energy, and we didn't have students until Tuesday. Still, I can already see patterns in how I spend my time, and yeah...I take a lot more leisure time than I realized. I am perfectly capable of reading blogs for an hour and a half in the evening while ignoring pretty much everything around me. Although I still want to read blogs, I need to wait until the kids are in bed and not get sucked in to Google Reader every day. Because once I see all the posts waiting for me, I want to read them all! As Vanderkam points out, if I want to make some changes, I am the one who can choose to change how I spend my time.

Justin and I have also figured out how to incorporate regular exercise into our routine without having to give up sleep or family time in the evenings when we're already tired. Miss Pink has to be at school by 7:45 am. Normally Justin takes her to school and I take Mr. Blue to his before going (literally around the corner) to work. We realized that if one of us goes to the gym, the other one can take both kids to school. The gym is also right down the street, so after I worked out, I came home to get cleaned up and still had plenty of time to get to work. We're going to skip Mondays since Miss Pink has to be at school early that day for math club (and I can barely make it by 7:45), alternate the rest of the weekdays, and go together on a weekend day and let the kids go to the child care (which they are anxious to do). We've only used the system on Thursday and Friday of this last week, but so far, so good! Tomorrow night we'll go spend some time working out together (which we've never done before) so we'll be multitasking--keeping our bodies AND our marriage healthy! And that's a concept every time-management expert would get behind.

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year (Which Is Almost Over)

It's almost the end of the year, and I couldn't let 2010 end without posting on my poor neglected blog. I really have been reading most of the blogs I always have, but days go by in between and most of the time I have been too tired by the time I read blogs to come up with a coherent comment, let alone post. As I said to my parents the other day, "The amount of vacation days for teachers is great, but the thing is that you NEED that many days to recuperate."

I am still enjoying my job, though--at least as much as I can remember of it after two weeks off. (American literature? What's that?) Most of my students passed and some failed, but the ones who failed were the ones who did not turn in their assignments or study. I can live with that. I used to feel personally responsible when my students failed, but I'm over that. The funny thing is, when I see my students in the grocery store--I am guaranteed to see at least one student in any grocery store in town--the ones who failed the semester seem just as happy to see me as the ones who passed. I feel that I've made some genuine connections with a lot of these young people, some of whom come to me for advice or just to talk. *sappy sentiment alert* I hope they remember something I teach them, but most of all I hope they feel that I value them and what they have to offer. For example, I really try to listen when they talk to me, individually or in class discussion, and although I'm pretty laid back about my classroom, I am adamant that they are not allowed to interrupt or insult each other. My heart was warmed when one student told another recently, "Hey! This is a no-put-down class!" Awkward phrasing aside, I'm glad they see it that way.

My children are doing splendidly and they enjoyed the Christmas holidays very much. I wish I could say they were not too spoiled at Christmas, but that's just impossible. Santa does limit his offerings so the toys don't completely take over the house. They get their stockings and three presents--big, medium, and smaller--which I explain is because Baby Jesus got three presents from the wise men and what's good enough for Baby Jesus is good enough for them. Also this year they got an extra present because I Santa thought one gift intended for Mr. Blue had not arrived yet, when it had (Justin had hid it and there was no tracking info so I didn't think it had come) and I Santa went out to buy some Transformers. So rather than return the Transformers, Santa decided that they got a present to share, because even though it was intended for Mr. Blue, they both like to play with it--it is an octagon shape that you can make mosaic patterns in, like so.

Anyway, they got new bikes, which they have been riding a lot. My brother and his wife got them Lite Brites (which I was relieved to see have a storage drawer for the pieces). Miss Pink got a matching T-shirt for her and her American Girl doll, and another doll from Target and a (plastic) pony. Mr. Blue got three sets of Trios, which are infinitely preferable to Legos for younger kids, and some Iron Man toys he likes from my mother-in-law. Besides the doll, pony, and Trios, my mom also got them clothes and shoes/boots, and she also does stockings that put Santa's to shame. We had a lovely time on Christmas morning at our house, then going for lunch at my parents' house at 1, followed by the present-opening and hanging out for the rest of the day. I didn't actually take a nap on Christmas Day, but that was all right since I've been going back to sleep every morning for at least an hour and a half after breakfast. Going back to school next week is going to be BRUTAL.

I was going to write about our experiences in 2010, and what goals I am planning for in 2011, but since I have rambled this much about teaching and my children's Christmas presents, I'll stop here and save that post for another day (and not one months from now).

Happy New Year to anyone who stops by and reads this! I miss commenting back and forth with my blog friends, so I'm going to make an effort to stay in touch better in the coming year.

An Update of Sorts

Wow. I haven't had the desire to blog since the end of September. Sometimes I would think about it, especially after reading other blogs, but always ran out of steam. I don't want to quit, even if other things (like working and doing things for and with my family) are taking almost all of my energy.

Work is going well. I actually do love teaching--most days. We are already finished with the first two grading periods and I can hardly believe it's November.

I do have a few funny kid stories. Miss Pink was invited to be part of her school's math club. I don't know what they do except play a mysterious math game that I can't understand when she tries to explain it to me. What can I say, she doesn't get her math ability from me. Anyway, when she was talking about math to me one night, she said something about telling other people she was in the math club. "I'll say, "Yo, what's up? Math is COOL!'"

I didn't have the heart to tell her what most people think about math. (Hint: they don't think it's cool. Even if you try to sound like a rapper when you say it.)

Mr. Blue makes us laugh a lot. One night he was tickling his dad while we were sitting at the dinner table.
Justin: Liam, please stop tickling me.
Liam: That wasn't me tickling you, that was God's magic.
Justin: Okay, then, God, please stop tickling me.
Liam (in the deepest voice he can create): OKAY.

Today he was brushing my hair (quite painfully, I might add) and he said, "I love your hair. I love everybody's hair. Except the devil's." Oookay then. I guess I should be thankful he doesn't love Satan's hair.

Coming Up for Air

The last two weeks have been very busy. I am trying to get used to being a mother who keeps her children fed and clean and read to, and a teacher who is available to her students before and after school while keeping up with all the paperwork, and a wife whose husband doesn't have to listen to her whine about how tired she is (at least not every day), and someone who is NOT going to end up on an episode of "Hoarders: Buried Alive."

Last night we cleaned the house (it doesn't take that long when we all pitch in) and the week got off to a good start. For one thing, the weather is cooler--it was below 60 degrees when we left this morning. Friday is the last day of the grading period: another milestone to celebrate. 

In Which I Explain How Much I Love My Job

Another week down! I have no idea how many weeks are left in the school year (I just know it's a lot, so why count?) and anyway, I feel like I'm getting in the groove. I am loving my job! It helps that this week we got the textbooks, so we could start teaching actual literature. Yay!

I love teaching juniors, too. I was right when I guessed that they would be much more cooperative than middle schoolers or freshmen (my two long-term assignments from last year). Yet the juniors do not have senioritis, so they still have some motivation to do the work. They also have to pass the TAKS test this year in order to graduate, which is another level of motivation.

The kids seem to enjoy being in my class, too. I know it's more important to be respected than to be liked, and this is something I have struggled with in the past ("If I punish this kid, they'll think I'm a MEAN TEACHER, oh NOOOOO!") but I also think that getting to know the kids and enjoying the things they say helps them WANT to be in my class and therefore they are more willing to learn from me. I love it when students share their thoughts with me, whether in class or in private; when they tell me about their extracurricular activities, whether that be sports, dance, or color guard; and when I manage to get the quiet ones to respond to my "good morning" as I greet them at the door.

My best compliment this week: the students were answering some questions that required slightly more higher-level thinking than just "What happened in the story?" and a few kids weren't getting it, so I was trying to rephrase the questions and lead them to come up with the answers themselves instead of just giving it away. One of the other students who'd figured it out herself said to me, "Oh my God, you are so patient. I would be screaming at them about now." I smiled and said, "Well, if I weren't patient, I'd need to get another job." More than once in my life I have felt as if I would never learn to be patient--when something comes easily for me, like my student felt about the questions, I have been like, "Why can't you just get this?!?"--and so this felt great, not just the compliment but also the feeling of being patient while not giving in to their transparent attempts to get me to just tell them the answer. I completely credit my children for giving me lots of practice in this area, by the way.

Labor Day weekend has been good too. Justin and I took Mr. Blue to my school's first home football game (Miss Pink was at a sleepover) and it was so fun. It was great to feel a part of the community, especially now that I'm a teacher (and also my ticket was free!) We ended up leaving at halftime, because it was Mr. Blue's bedtime and he was tired of sitting (relatively) still. He barely watched the game even though we had great seats right at the front, but he did like watching the mascot and playing with some other boys.

Saturday was...not so great. We got woken up twice, when Miss P was brought home from the sleepover (long story) and when Justin had to spend half an hour coughing up a lung. So we were both pretty sleep-deprived, but he still had to deliver some furniture pieces he'd built. I spent the day with a headache and the house looked like a bomb had gone off in it. Actually, a bomb might have been an improvement--maybe some of the dirt would've been blasted off the surfaces. I've never been a great housekeeper, but when I stayed home, I did do some cleaning. But last weekend I was recuperating from my first week of school and I didn't clean anything except the dishes and dirty laundry. So the house was truly disgraceful and I felt too yucky to tackle it. I did, however, manage to make some tasty chicken fried rice, so that was a win.

That evening, I complained about my face hurting, and Justin said, "Well, take some MEDICINE, then!" He said I always do that, and it's true. So I took a Claritin-D and slept wonderfully, and woke up refreshed, and all was right with the world. (Also, no one woke me up with his coughing.) I took another nap Sunday after lunch, heroically faced Wal-Mart to get much-needed groceries, and still had enough energy to muster the troops to clean most of the house. I still need to dust (seriously, I think nothing's been dusted all summer--hey, I wonder why I'm having allergy problems?) and vacuum, but it's mostly done, and we're having friends over for dinner tonight, and I don't even mind that I have to go back to work tomorrow.

P.S. If I already like my job this much, what's it going to be like when I actually get a paycheck?