Monday, January 14, 2008

I Don't Understand Regular Math, Either

Let N = the number of times the kitchen floor gets swept in a week, where N is a number usually >0 but never >2.

Let X = the amount of debris (dirt from the garage, dried-up cereal, various unidentified bits of food, glitter, and string, among other things) contributed by each member of the family.

X * ({2 children under 5} + {2 parents, neither of whom really enjoys sweeping but don’t like their feet to stick to the floor, either}) – N = a big pile of gross debris that embarrasses me every time I sweep the floor. ("I left that on the floor for how many days?")

Feel free to point out any errors in my “equation.” (Yes, the quotation marks are ironic.) But what I am describing is accurate, every single week.


  1. N is a big problem at my house, like "Who hid all these onion peels under the dishwasher and WHY?".

  2. I see no problem with your equation. It works as applied to my house, too.

  3. i don't understand regular math either. 2+2 is about as far as my knowledge takes me.

  4. See, I figure sweeping wasn't worth the effort unless I manage to collect a truly embarrassing pile of stuff. Then, it's SO satisfying.