1. My uncle once spanked me and my cousin for going out by the lake alone. I was shocked; I had no idea he was allowed to do that.
2. Never in my life have I done something physically dangerous on purpose.
3. When I was five I was in first grade.
4. High school was emotionally exhausting.
5. I will never forget the day my children were born. (Okay, that’s two days, but I can’t play favorites.)
6. Once I met my husband, I knew I could trust him.
7. There's this boy I know who has the longest eyelashes I’ve ever seen.
8. Once, at a bar, I read aloud a short story about a preacher’s daughter who has an affair with an evangelist. I am a preacher’s daughter. I wondered if the audience thought it was autobiographical (it wasn’t).
9. By noon, I've started looking forward to Mr. Blue’s naptime.
10. Last night I watched What Not to Wear while my husband was out playing softball. Gender stereotypes much?
11. If only I had more energy and motivation to get things done.
12. Next time I go to church, I need to remember to bring snacks for the kids.
13. What worries me most is failing.
14. When I turn my head left I see a curtain and the view out my bedroom window.
15. When I turn my head right I see the dresser on the other side of the room.
16. You know I'm lying if I say I’m not worried about anything.
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is the feeling of having so many possibilities in the future.
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I'd be one of the girls dressed up as a boy to accomplish some far-fetched goal.
19. By this time next year I'd like to have written ten short stories and/or begun a novel.
20. A better name for me would be—I can’t think of a name that suits me better than mine.
21. I have a hard time understanding people who abuse their children. I just don’t understand hurting helpless innocents who love you.
22. If I ever go back to school, I probably wouldn’t stop until I had a Ph.D.
23. You know I like you if I keep talking to you. I’m not hard to figure out.
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be my husband.
25. Take my advice, don’t stress over being perfect. Be good enough, and things will work out.
26. My ideal breakfast is one I don’t have to cook and that clogs my arteries.
27. A song I love but do not have is “The Arms of an Angel” by Sarah McLachlan.
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you eat some barbecue.
29. Why won't people stop ascribing the worst possible motives to each other?
30. If you spend a night at my house, we will feed you well and the kids will wake you up early (sorry).
31. I'd stop my wedding for nothing.
32. The world could do without PMS.
33. I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than run a marathon.
34. My favorite blondie is my little boy.
35. Paper clips are easy to lose.
36. If I do anything well it's cook.
37. I can't help but be grateful for the blessings I’ve been given.
38. I usually cry at Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. It gets me every freakin’ time.
39. My advice to my nephew/niece is: Be willing to take some risks. Accept responsibility for the choices you make. Live and love like there’s no tomorrow. And laugh every day, especially at yourself.
40. And by the way, I have to leave to go to my friend's house.