Homework, Part 1

I was in school for so long--both as a student and a teacher--that I find it hard to believe I don't have homework anymore.

Oh, I know what's coming. Miss Pink doesn't have homework yet--her school doesn't believe in giving the little ones homework, a stance with which I heartily agree, and not just because it makes my life easier. But at some point she and Mr. Blue will have homework on a regular basis, and although I refuse to do it for them, it will be my job to carve out time for them to finish it. Because apparently the role of Mom includes the job description of "keeps the family schedule," which I am not that great at but at least I know to write things on a calendar. So that is part of my homework, I guess: all the paperwork and scheduling. Field trip forms, money to school, doctor's appointments (didn't she JUST have her eyes checked?), class parties. Et cetera.

When the day is done and Justin and I sit down to stare lovingly in each other's eyes watch TV, the DVR has recorded our favorite shows which we only watch when the kids are asleep--mostly CSI-type or cop shows which are too graphic for kids. Plus can you imagine the nightmares Miss Pink would have if she watched a show about a kidnapping or a murder? This is a child who cried for two hours because the mama meerkat saved her babies by sacrificing herself to a cobra. (That WAS a sad episode. Justin should have KNOWN not to let her watch it.) Of course, you never know what will set Miss P off. For about two months she couldn't go to sleep right away because she was worried that an asteroid would hit the earth. (And I swear we hadn't let her watch the movie Armageddon.) Our conversations would go something like this.

MP: Mama, I'm worried that it's going to be the end of the world.

Me: Honey, that's not going to happen.

MP, beginning to realize that her mother is not in fact omniscient: But how do you know?

Me, realizing that I don't in fact know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the world won't end tonight: I just...don't believe God will end the world like that. But no matter what happens, we will be with Jesus in heaven.

MP, face crumpling up: I don't want to be in heaven. I want to be here on earth. And I'm afraid the world is going to explode...

Me: You know, if an asteroid was going to hit the earth the scientists would have already predicted it. If it ever looks like it's going to happen, they will know way in advance.

MP, brightening: And they will do something to stop it from hitting the earth. Like maybe make a rocket that can hit it.

Maybe she saw Deep Impact instead of Armageddon.

And I was going to tell you about TV homework, and I've run out of time. I'll finish later.