For some reason, I rarely feel that I've done enough. Enough for what, you ask? Just...enough. There's always more to be done, always something I could be doing better at. And there's always plenty of guilt to wallow in because of all the things that I haven't done that I could have, if I hadn't wasted all that time doing something I wanted to do instead.
Welcome to motherhood, right?
But I don't feel guilty today. Today I got dressed in actual clothes instead of workout gear. I cleaned the kitchen and bathrooms, did laundry (including that leaf-infested afghan), and vacuumed. I felt productive. Mr. Blue cleaned the toilet (splashing water all over the floor) and the mirror (leaving streaks on it.) But hey, I'm glad he wants to help since I know the desire is short-lived.
Then I took Mr. Blue to Target to buy him some Valentines to give away at school tomorrow. He insisted on bringing his 4.00 to buy something. But everything at his eye level was too expensive. I wasn't going to buy him a $20.00 helicopter when his birthday is in two weeks and that's what my mom is getting him. He didn't understand that, of course, so he had a wall-eyed hissy fit all the way through the store and while I bought the Valentines (which turned out to be a sticker-puzzle that is way too complicated for his age group. Awesome.) After all that, I suggested we share a soft pretzel and a cherry Icee. I had to choke down the last third of the pretzel when my little darling decided he wanted to buy a small toy monster truck after all.
Great, I said. We went back to the toy section (avoiding the helicopter aisle) and got the one he wanted. By the time we got home, he wanted to do the puzzle on the Valentine (ALL BY SELF, as usual) and watch monster trucks on You Tube and then he wanted to go back to the store to buy a different truck and then he was crying again.
I diagnosed him as tired and I was right--he didn't protest taking his nap. And after reviewing the morning's events (I didn't even tell you about the elaborate getting-in-the-car ritual that we are well advised to follow), that's when I decided that I deserve every break I give myself, and I don't feel guilty about it at all.