Today after school Miss Pink told me that a boy in her class drew a picture of her with parts showing that shouldn't be showing, if you get my meaning. Justin was nearby and I called his attention to what she was saying. We asked her if she had told the teacher and she said yes. She started to cry a little (probably because our faces were so serious) and we comforted her, telling her she hadn't done anything wrong, in fact she had done exactly right by telling the teacher and us. She didn't know how the teacher had dealt with the boy. After we loved on her and told her we would talk to the teacher, she was fine and went back to playing in the back yard.
They are in kindergarten. MAN. I want to go back to the days when figuring out how to soothe a crying baby was my biggest problem!
I emailed the teacher, choosing my words carefully because I have been on her side of the desk and I didn't want to come across as accusing her of not doing her job. In fact, I said, "I'm sure you already handled this" but that we would feel better if we checked with her that the situation was being handled appropriately. That was after school was over so she won't see that email till tomorrow. I have every reason to expect, from the kind of teacher she seems to be, that she will answer me and it will all be sorted out.
I have no idea what the school will do or what I should expect them to do, except that I don't want the boy to do it again. I wish I could protect my children's innocence forever, but sadly that cannot happen.
Ugh... makes you wonder what he's learning at home, doesn't it?
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having to deal with this. Good for Miss Pink for being open with you... that will be a good pattern to establish.
I didn't see the picture, and you don't give details, but I will disagree with Hot Tub Lizzy and say that sometimes these things happen from a place of complete innocence, not because he's learning bad things at home.
ReplyDeleteOf course, I say that because my child at the age of 4 had an incident where she was the instigator (for lack of a better word), and I can assure you we have done everything we can to protect her innocence. And, when we talked to her about it, we ascertained she had done it was because she didn't realize anything was "wrong" with what she had done. I did copious amounts of research hoping to alleviate my guilt, and it worked because I found that curiosity about the body at age 4 and even into age 5 is very common.
I wish I had understood that better two years ago before I ended a friendship over a similar incident.
I'm with Le Guz. It's actually age appropriate for them to be noticing all the differences, even though it doesn't feel so great for us. I think the best course of action is having it look like no action is taking place. Kids need to be able to know that adults are there to help them understand these differences, not be afraid to ask questions, or god forbid, tell us things.
ReplyDeleteMaybe an activity between the two of you where you each draw self portaits, clothed or unclothed. You choose and let the dialogue flow from there. (But you're right, the teacher does need to be aware of it and isn't necessarily at fault.)
It'll all work out. I'm sure of it.